Who knew

Pissed off

For the first time since forever, I wasn't happy about weekends. It was usually the days that were not included in the project plan for Eminem's articles so I had to spend it in my own way, trying to suppress the effect the last night in Marshall's company had on me and configure my thoughts to something else. Or what was even better, to someone else.

The first day flew by reviewing the material I'd written and listening to the first three Eminem's albums on repeat. Even though the night before I confessed to myself about liking Marshall, I was still telling my mind that it was to know more about him and understand things better for the articles. But I had no choice but to give up soon because the truth was that I just needed something connected to Marshall, and his music was more than perfect for it.

The same day I also attended a dinner at Jeff's home which wasn't a distraction from the person on my mind either. Jeff was extremely interested in everything that had been happening at my work with Marshall so the whole evening he, his wife Talia and two grown-up kids Charlotte and Michael were devouring every word I was telling. And I couldn't blame them. Every member of the Wade family knew how important that kind of work opportunity was for Jeff and "Wave" so being ignorant about it would have been strange. Not to mention that Michael was a huge Eminem fan so every detail I could reveal seemed like a pure diamond.

Jeff and I had a good relationship so going to dinners like that was nothing new for me. Though, that time I couldn't help but notice my own passion for the things I was telling. I was glad that Jeff didn't ask questions but I was pretty sure that he was aware of some change that happened to me. I was afraid that it was obvious which change exactly had a place in my behaviour and wasn't ready for that talk.

Another person on my mind that weekend was Josh. I felt guilt overwhelming me for the things I'd been feeling around Marshall when the guy like him was clearly making moves to get my attention. I liked texting with Josh, talking to him, even spending some time together and I knew that from the right perspective, he was the guy I should have been leaned toward. But the difference was that I liked doing all those things but didn't really like him romantically. I was trying to make myself like him in that way but all the attempts were in vain. Especially, with Marshall around.

I didn't give up, though. That was why the second weekend I decided to spend with Josh entirely. He seemed excited at my suggestion, and I could say I was kinda excited too. Kinda.

So, that weekend day we were sitting on the green grass in one of Detroit parks and having fun by talking and eating sandwiches from the nearby cafe. The cool wind was blowing around our bodies but the sun was there to bring some pleasant warmth and I was closing my eyes from time to time to bathe my face in that enjoyable mixture. It was almost evening and we were spending the whole day together.

'I forgot to say that I've brought the next Eminem CD today, "The Eminem Show". My brother thinks that it's Eminem's best work so you'd better be excited about that one' Josh told with a small teasing grin, hovering beside me as I was laying on my elbows on the ground. The sun rays were lightening his honey eyes that along with the small curles of his chestnut hair were giving him a boyish, almost adorable look, and I thought how unluckily it was that I was excited for the next Eminem's album a lot more that he could suspect.

'I am excited' I rolled my eyes jokingly to hide the unwanted thoughts of the secret I was keeping about my work and everything connected to Marshall. '2002 and Eminem on the top of the entire rap game'.

'I see you digging more into his stuff' Josh commented, narrowing his eyes at me, faking a suspicion. 'You're still not telling me what it is all for and I have to admit, the way you sometimes talk about him makes me think that you know him in person' he chuckled, giving me a mocking look and being completely in the dark about a little detail that his joke unintentionally hit the target.