New Beginnings....

Fear & Courage

Mature content ahead... Read at your own discretion...

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The following week the first thing Mullai does is to book an appointment with her therapist... Even though Kathir offers to go along with her, she decides to attend the first session alone...

She takes her old files and prepares herself mentally to go through all this once again...

For some reason, Mullai does not want to tell this to her mother, she will never understand about this... This is a journey that only they have embarked upon. This journey is going to bring them so much closer and she hopes with all her heart that it does not turn out to be the opposite...

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When she returns home from the 45 minute session, Kathir waits for her anxiously near the stairs...

K: Eppadi pochu? Ennae sonnangae?

He says scrutinizing her face as if the answers to his questions are written there...

M: 8 o clock, mellae varen... Appo solluren...

He nods worriedly...

At 8 o clock.... On the dot...

She comes up with 2 new journals, some pens and a file...

M: Inthae Kathir...

She hands him a navy blue journal and a pen...

M: Nammalodae first activity.... Icebreakers...

K: Haaan... Ennaku dhan unnae pathie ellamae theriyumae...

She laughs...

M: Ithu ennae pathie illae... Unnae pathie... Nee ezhuthae kude venam... Sonnalae pothum...

He nods...

She looks at the sheet in the file...

And her face changes...

M: First question eh bayangaramae irruku... What is your biggest fear?

He thinks for a while...

And writes something on his journal...

M: En kitte sollanom... Oru record kagae dhan ezhuthae sonnangae...

K: Sirikae kudathu...

M: I'm the last person to laugh at someone else's fear...

K: Fear of Loneliness....

She squeezes his hand...

K: Chinnae vayasu lenthu ippo veraikkum oru kuttathuliyae vazhanthu... Thanimai yeh yoschae bayamae irruku...

M: Inimae nee adhae pathie yosikavae yosikathae... Naan irruken, Mahi, Amma, appo appo Appa... Approm Simba... Ohn kude veh dhan irrupom...

He kisses her hand...

K: Ippo nee sollu...

M: Mothalae... Fear of marriage, of commitment ah dhan irrunthathu... Aana ippo... kalyanathukku approm... Naan oru ozhuganae wife ah irrupenah... Mahi ku life long oru nallae Ammavae irrupenah, ithellam dhan ennodae current fear...

Fear has that power, the power to morph into something else, the power to start doubting your own self.

K: Ithu ellarukumae irrukum Mullai... Don't worry...

He smiles at her and she looks at the next question...

M: Where do you see yourself in five years?