chapter four - My secret safe

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Today's the day I'll be leaving to college . I got my bags all packed up-- fine Consuela packed them ,  but we pay her so technically I packed them. While she and the driver were loading my luggage into the car , I lay comfortably on my bed re-reading the contents from the paper in my hand over and over again.

" Can I come in ? " My mom knocked on the door and swung it open before I could even say come in . She walked over to my side of the bed and I moved over to make space for her . The weight shifted on the bed and she put an arm over my shoulder , letting me lean my head on her shoulder .

" What are you looking at Kellin ? " She asked me , putting her index finger and thumb on the corner of the crumpled up piece of paper and gently pulled in to her direction so she could get a better look at it.

" Vic's ? "

" Yeah "

My bucket list ⊙ω⊙

1. Hold hands with a guy ♡  ✓

2. Go to paris  ✓

3. Conquer my fears of the meanie height!  ✓

4. Say a bad word (nothing too extreme ! Maybe the poop word that starts with a 's' ) I hope Mama and Papa doesn't see this >.< If you do , Sorry ╯﹏╰  ✓

5. Get my nose pierced   ✓

6. Adopt a puppy ! Cute cuddly puppy !  ✓ ( Dewey the stuffed puppy counts . It's still a puppy , just not a live one )

7. Make 1 friend  ✓

8. be a monkey for a day  ✓

9. Fall asleep under the stars like in the movies ! ♡  ✓

10. Always live to see tomorrow 
I'm sorry I let you down Vic

" Oh Kellin " My mom coo-ed , running her finger through my hair , " you didn't let him down ! Don't say that okay ? You tried your best to give him the best time of his life . If he hadn't met you , the things on his bucket list would never be completed . He would have never met anyone else that could give him as much love as you did. If there's one thing I know about my Kelly Kins is that when he loves someone , he loves that person with his all. So stop blaming yourself okay ? You were good for him and he was good for you.  "

I nodded my head and cuddled more into my mom. Sometimes all you really need is a little motherly love , no matter what age you are . I could be 30 and I'll still need her as much as I did when I was a baby. Of course if I still had my dad , that would be great. But she gives me just enough love to substitude for the both of them.

" Mrs. Quinn , Mr. Kellin , the luggages have all been loaded and the driver's ready to depart " Consuela said from the archway of my room door .

My mom dismissed her and untangled me from her . She stood up and swept her hands down her mid length skirt making sure it was neat , a habit of hers . I crawled to my mother's previously side of the bed and stood up , just towering a few inches over my blonde headed mother that was in four inch heels. Atlease thats what it looks like .

" Do you want to do one last check before we head out ? " She asked stopping mid-track , blocking my passage to exit my room .

I didn't actually think I was going to need to do one last check. In fact I was just glad that I'll be finally getting out of here , getting away from all these haunting memories and I'll finally be able to start fresh somewhere new. But since I was going to be away for a very long time , I figured , I'd do one last check just incase I forgot my valuebles. And by that , I meant my poloroids of me and Vic.

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