Taboo (Merle Dixon x OFC)

Chapter 24

After our hands were completely dry, Merle reached for the joint and his lighter. He lit the joint effortlessly, then sat the lighter down next to the ashtray. Taking a few puffs, smoke billowed from his mouth and nostrils, filling the air around us. I smiled, watching him lightly cough and relax against the side of the tub.

"Beautiful night," Merle commented. A smirk played at the corners of his mouth as he stared up at the stars. "Ain't so hot out no more and the sky is clear. Tons o' stars ta look at t'night."

"Indeed." I nodded, taking the joint from him.

I took a few puffs as well. The joint was filled with good weed and the THC affected me immediately. The familiar feeling of velvet touching my soul overcame me slowly. I grew thoughtful and reflective of the last few days. They had been filled with a lot of terrible and excellent things. I was sorting them out in my mind.

We passed the joint back and forth silently until it was a roach, then Merle crushed it in the ashtray. I was quiet because I was still reflecting, but I was also enjoying my pot buzz. Merle was also enjoying his high, but he was quiet for a whole different reason. I could tell from his subtle change in facial expressions that he was thinking really hard. He had said it was time to talk about his scars, so his thoughts were most likely centered around that. He would look slightly angry, then sad, then go back to angry again before looking somewhat calm. Then the changes would start all over again.

"Ya alright?" I inquired. The joint was done with, so I wasn't worried about getting my hands wet anymore. Scooting closer to him, I brushed my fingers through his damp hair.

"Yeah. I'm just tryin' ta figure out where ta start," he replied, scratching at his chin hair.

"Ya talkin' 'bout..." I let my words die as my eyes traveled to his water submerged chest and abs.

"Yeah." Merle frowned.

"Start at the beginnin'," I suggested, reaching for the whiskey.

"Prolly gonna need that." He nodded at the bottle. "I don't like talkin' 'bout this. I never talk 'bout it. No one knows what happened ta me 'cept Derle, Jake, my old man..." He grimaced, swallowing noticeably. "And my Mama. She knew somethin' 'bout it, but we didn't really have too many conversations 'bout it. I'm suspicious yer Mama might know too, but I dunno fer sure."

"Well, if yer Mama knew 'bout it, then it happened b'fore she died," I realized. Opening the whiskey bottle, I handed it to him and sat the cap down on the chair.

"Some of it did, yeah, but not all of it." Merle took a greedy swig. The faraway look he had after dinner had returned.

"Ya ain't gotta tell me everythin' right now. It's obvious it bothers ya." Sitting between his open thighs again, I rubbed my hands over his chest. "Just tell me what yer comfortable with."

"I need ta tell ya all of it." He pulled me against him with his free hand, dropping a kiss on my forehead. "It's true it bothers me. That's why I don't talk 'bout it. I don't like folks ta see my weaknesses, but if anyone needs ta know how I got these scars, it's you. We should know everythin' 'bout each other, good and bad. No secrets."

"Okay, I'm ready," I said, lacing my fingers behind his neck. "Drink what ya want. I'm all right fer now."

"I'm sure ya've gathered from me talkin' ta Jake or Derle that my old man was a miserable drunken bastard," Merle started, taking another gulp of alcohol. "Not that I can say much 'bout that. I got my own demons. I drink and do drugs ta hide from 'em. Anyone that knows me knows that. Ya might even remember 'im bein' an asshole. Ain't too sure."

"Uhh, huh. That much is clear," I said, dread filling my soul.

I knew from the grave look on Merle's face that he was going to tell me his old man had scarred him like that. I thought back to my childhood when Merle's old man had still been alive. He had been a major dick to Merle and Daryl, but I was always with my parents, so the man had never said one ill word to me. He knew my Daddy would murder him if he fucked with me or my Mama, so he had pretty much ignored us. I got some nasty looks from him every once in awhile, but that was about it. There had been a couple times when he had started to get shitty, but Merle had scooped me up and carried me away before anything could escalate.