Just Like Old Times

The Renewal

It was the next day and Lilly dressed in her black summer gunslinger outfit with fingerless black leather gloves on and her auburn locks in a loose braid. She took her aspirin and her dramamine. She had a very rough day yesterday and a very sleepless night. She looked for Arthur and spotted him talking to John, but as soon as he saw her, Arthur walked away, got on his horse, and trotted off. Lilly made a decision. She didn't know why she made it, but it felt like the right thing to do. Lilly went over to Dutch's tent. "Hey Da," she said.

"Hey sweetheart. What's goin' on?"

"I'm gonna leave for a while."

"Okay. Well, where you goin'?"

"Just...away. For a while. Away from camp." Lilly fiddled with her fingers. "I don't think I can stay with the gang or Arthur anymore, Da."

"What?" Dutch got up, as did Molly, and they went to her. "Lilly, what's wrong?"

"I really messed up, Da. I accidentally called him a false husband."

"Oh dear," Molly said.

"Yes. Oh dear, indeed," Dutch said. "But Lilly, you're havin' his child."

"He hates me. I can't have a husband that hates me." Lilly covered her face and began to sob. "What if he hates the child for bein' part of me?"

Molly put her arms around Lilly. "He doesn't hate you, love. Gearr amach é. Is breá le Arthur tú." [Cut it out. Arthur loves you.]

"He won't talk to me after what I said. If he ignores me for one more day, I'll...I'll..." Lilly broke into tears and Molly and Dutch hugged her.

"God dammit, where is that boy?" Dutch asked.

"What in the hell?" Karen came over. "Why is Lilly cryin'?"

"She thinks Arthur hates her," Dutch said. "Lilly, where's your herbal medicine? The stuff Cornwall gave you?"

"Shouldn't we get her tea instead of letting her smoke something?" Molly asked.

"No! Ya feckers ain't sedatin' me!" Lilly snapped, then sobbed again. "I know about all of that, how ya been sedatin' me fer years! And the feckin'...things breakin' and...why am I actin' like this, Da?!"

"What the hell?" John said. "Oh Lilly, you're...are you havin' a mood swing?"

Dutch sighed. "If she's cryin' in front of people, then yes. You know Lilly hates that."

"Arthur keeps it on him. Said he doesn't want Lilly overdoin' it," Karen explained.

"Abigail!" John called out. "Come here for a minute!"

Dutch pat Lilly's back. "You're gonna be okay, just breathe, sweetheart."

Lilly nodded and nuzzled into Molly's shoulder. "I...I...are all pregnancies like this?!"

Molly laughed. "I haven't a clue, Lilly."

"What's goin' on?" Abigail asked. "Oh. Mood swing?"

Lilly's breathing became shallow rasps. She felt dizzy all of a sudden. "Uh oh. I...I gotta sit down!" Molly directed her to a chair and Lilly held her face, still sobbing. "I hate bein' pregnant!" she snapped. "How has the human race not died out? How are women happy bein' pregnant?!"