Miscellany

hoax

hoax

(n.) a deceptive trickery or story

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The forgotten waves slammed against the cliffside where I stood for hours, the sky changing colors from a chilling midnight to a fiery scarlet. Everything about the sea reminds me of you. Whichever it is, wherever I am. The clearer the sea breeze is, the more I long to see you beside me, looking at it with the softest lips curved upwards. I laughed bitterly at my useless thoughts. Until now, I'm still in the middle of a sad sea breeze with no one next to me.

No one. Not since then.

On that cursed day, our final one together, I gave you my warmest smile. Do you know? I never gave that smile to anyone else after that. Not even to myself. Only you could bring it out of me. And it made me wonder. If it was me who left, would you have missed me as much as I do now? Would your heart suffer the same brutal pain that mine's going through? Would you also be in this never ending cycle of throwing blames at yourself, at the world, at whatever force that pulled us apart? Would you also keep asking for a reason, any justification for this harsh reality?

For I still fail to understand why we had to be separated.

And so I desperately fed myself with delusions, gobbling them up like the nasty grub they fed me in that suffocating cell. Yes, I can hide the truth and push forward. I can survive and escape from the island. I will return to New York where we left our promises for tomorrow and plotted our future on a drawing board. All because you told me that you'll always be with me. That there's no end to us. That living my life was also living yours, because your life was in my hands.

Lies.

Did you forget?

You hold my life in your hands too.

The instant you said you wanted to go without me, I lost the strength to believe. When your hands became lifeless and cold, I became incapable of feeling warmth. When your body was engulfed by flames, my heart was also beaten and burned to ashes.

The day you begged and made me end your life, my life had ended too.

I died with you.

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a/n: inspired by taylor swift's "hoax"