I'm suffocating

Chapter 20

TImS POV

I shifted on the uncomfortable plastic chair next to my brothers hospital bed.

He layed there and you'd think he was taking a nap if it wasn't for his pale skin and the blood stained bandages around his wrists.

He looked awfully small in the hospital bed and it just reminded me of how young he was and how much he was going through.

I sighed and gripped his hand tightly,willing for him to wake up

Curly's PoV
As I woke up my mind felt hazy. I could see white walls all around me.

I guessed from that beeping noise drilling into me that I was in a hospital and that I had failed.

I sniffed slightly causing something to move next to me.

I cursed inwardly when I saw my brother. He looked like he hadn't slept or showered in days and there were old tear tracks on his cheeks.

He looked shocked to see me,hell, I was shocked to see myself alive.

"Hey," I awkwardly said.

Instead he pulled me into a hug "Dont EVER do that again,you hear?"

He carefully climbed into the hospital bed next to me pulling my head down onto his chest.

"Sorry," I muttered but he shook his head

"No curls,," he said "it's me who should be sorry,"

"Ya didn't do anything," I told him and we stayed silent for a little while

"Ya really scared me," he admitted

I smiled bitterly "you scared me too," I referred to when he stormed out.

He went all pale and I regretted saying anything.

Just as I was about to apologise he gently pulled me into his lap so my upper body was resting on his chest.

"Don't apologise curly," he told me "God,just stop-," his voice broke slightly and I felt like shit.

I was shit.

I sniffed slightly,feeling ready to burst into tears.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me,rocking me slowly.

"I don't know what I would have done without you," he told me "I'd probably kill myself right alongside you,"

I shuddered at that thought "don't say that,don't-,"

"Don't what Curly?" He interrupted me "it's the truth and it kills me that you don't know it,"

"I love ya too much to live without you," he whispered into my ear,pressing a small kiss to my now tear stained cheek.

I just let the tears flow down my cheek,ruining his shirt,

"Shit,sorry," I muttered seeing it and I moved to get off him But he pulled me back

"It's fine,I don't give shit about a stupid shirt,I just wanna hold ya for a bit," he slowly began rocking me on his lap again.

"I thought you were dead ya know," he whispered

"when i walked into that bathroom,Christ," he shuddered "I thought the last thing I'd done was make ya cry,"

And with that all the negative feelings came flooding back "I wish I had died," I sobbed

He gripped me so hard I thought I was gonna suffocate "Stop fucking saying that!" He yelled

"You piece of shit," I could see a teardrop making its way down his cheek, I was shocked. I don't think I had ever seen my big brother cry

"You piece of shit," he repeated "you were just gonna leave me and angel here to deal with the mess and the blood and-" he stopped himself,seeing that it had upset me even more

"You'd have gotten over it," I didn't know who I was trying to convince,me or him.

He shook his head again,pressing another kiss to my cheek "Never,"