Better Than The Movies

Chapter Twenty- Nine

Thirty- one days later...

I walked into Bookish, my head down, trying to forget what happened the last time I was here. The last person I was with. I ignore the people giving me weird looks for wearing a hoodie in the middle of June and walk towards the back of the store. My fingers tremble as they reach up to trace the spines of the books in front of me, pushing back memories that he's already forgotten.

"He was looking for you, you know?" Missy voiced from behind me.

"Who?" But I knew exactly who she was talking around.

"Your boy. He came in last week, hoping to see you here," She sighed, grabbing my hand from the shelf in holding it. "That poor boy looked like somebody ripped his heart out and stomped on it.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I picked up a copy of a book that I already read, wanting to feel something weighing me down to keep me from fleeing from this store.

"Don't act stupid with me."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but that wasn't me." I slid my hand out of hers and moved down the shelf.

"Really" I nodded, biting my lip. "Then what happened to you?"

"Nothing," I said. "Just tired." Tired of missing somebody who's better off without me.

"You love that boy, don't you sweetheart?" I tasted blood from biting my lip too hard, but I couldn't stop. If I did, the tears I've been trying to suppress for the past thirty- one days would come rushing out.

It's been thirty- one days since I walked out of his life. Thirty- one days since I deleted his number and severed all contact. Thirty- one days since I supposedly broke his heart. I'm not surprised that he would come here looking for me. It's not like he could show up at my school or house. He doesn't know where that is.

At least he didn't, but it's been thirty- one days since I punched Jasper in the face. I'm pretty sure he's not keeping any of my secrets.

I've tried my best not to think of him. But every Disney movie I watched or Netflix show I binge reminds me of him. Ice cream reminds me of him. Books, my one true love is plagued with his memory. The memory of the boy with a smile large enough to brighten my whole day. The boy who craved nothing but love.

I couldn't even go to Barnes and Noble anymore. Couldn't walk inside the store knowing that he could be waiting for me.

Where it all started. Where our paths intertwined and we ruined each other.

Correction: I ruined him.

And now hearing that he's looking for me. Misses me.

Breaks my heart. When I left him, I didn't expect him to be heartbroken or sad. I was just a bump in the road until he went back to his perfect life. Or not- perfect life.

I wasn't supposed to be anything to him. He wasn't supposed to be anything to me.

But we were something. Anything. Everything. He was a part of me that was ripped away too quickly.

And that scared me.

It made me question things, but there is one thing I do know: if I could do it all again, I would. I would lie to him over and over again if it meant having this as our story. Because no matter what I know that if I told him the truth it wouldn't have gone as far as it did. He wouldn't have wanted to be a part of the life I have.

The life I've been trying to escape from.

"I know a broken heart when I see one."

"My heart's not broken. I'm good."