Better Than The Movies

Chapter Thirty- Four

Dear, Jace Matthew Kingston

It's been four days since you came to my house and twenty minutes later walked out of my life, not that I could blame you. I tried for so long to convince myself that you didn't understand and that I wasn't as crazy as everybody said. But as we all know I'm a liar.

I spent so many nights watching romance movies and praying that one day I would finally have my epic love story. But I learned a long time ago that I'm not the kind of girl that boys like you fall in love with. This is something I've come to accept even though I wanted badly, more than ever to change that. The love you gave me just wasn't in the cards.

You see, I'd never read books with characters that looked like me in them. All the characters looked like you and those girls from ritzy private schools. They were imperfectly perfect with sexy smirks and amazing messy buns. Rich beyond belief or dirt poor. There was never an in-between. There was never a girl who was just in the middle, they were left to be side characters. The main characters were all effortlessly good at this whole life thing and that girl was never going to me.

As I've told you before I was destined to be a side character.

Until I met you. You were new and scary and I wanted to know every inch of you without ever letting you get close enough to know the real me. I made up this fantasy world where I was the girl that you wanted even if you didn't know it yet. Even if I didn't know it yet.

I wanted so badly to be the main character in your story that I lied in order to secure the spot. And you were right, I did this for me. It was all for me. I made excuses not to tell you because I was ashamed. Of this house, my friends, and my family. But that wasn't fair to you. Because you were different, Jace. I think deep down I'd always known that.

I was selfish to hide things from you because Jace Matthew Kingston, you deserve the world. You deserve everything good in the world because that's what you are. And I'm sorry that people don't see you like I do. You are everything I've ever wanted and so much more and I'm not afraid anymore, I promise.

The truth is, I miss you. I miss your hair and the way it curls up after you get out of the shower. I miss your smile and your warm hugs. I miss our movie nights and Barnes and Noble runs. I miss the fire in your eyes when I challenge you to an Uno game and the joy in them when you beat me.

I didn't get to respond to you when you came to my house that night and I ruined everything we built over the past four months, but I love you Jace Matthew Kingston.

I love you from that scar on your foot from where Jasper dropped glass on you when you were twelve to the bruise on her knuckle from when you punched Jasper in the face. I loved you when you read me the first Harry Potter book to me four months ago and I fell in love with the series just like how I fell in love with you.

And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.

This is our story and we are the main characters. I'm so in love with you that it hurts me to write this, knowing there's a chance you'll never read this. There's a chance you don't love me anymore. That you woke up from this fairytale and realized I'm not the one you wanted.

But I can't leave your life without you knowing that I want you. It's always been you.

I don't know if it's the end of the chapter and you'll return later on or if it's the end of our story, but I can't help but think of you. I love you. I miss you. And I'm sorry that this is the way it became.

I am utterly, helplessly, irrevocably in love with you Jace Matthew Kingston and I don't want our story to end, not yet.

P.S. If you still hate me after reading this letter then I'll let you get back to how your life was before you met me, but if there is even a shred of love still left for me then meet me at the place that we first met Friday at 7.

P.P.S. If you're still angry and you don't want to see me just know that I understand. Good luck with everything. You'll always be the very first love of my life. Have an amazing life.

Sincerely yours,
Let