Definition Diner

34. bathtub

Friday November 14th

Cade and I didn't exchange any real words on the way back home. It was a half hour drive and he just cranked the radio to the point where if I tried to start a conversation I'd have to use a megaphone.

When we had pulled into my driveway he turned down the volume incase Aisha or Jim were home.

I told him thank you, he gave me a pained smile and he drove away before the door was completely shut.

How could I have been so stupid.

But if I'm being honest, the only way that I could have saved the situation was if I explained everything. If I had told him my true feelings. And I wasn't ready to be that vulnerable, not yet.

Shan was sitting at the kitchen island when I walked in, she had a binder open in front of her but I know she was purposely waiting for me.

"So," she waited until I looked at her to suggestively wiggle her eyebrows, "how was it?"

I really didn't want to talk about this right now. So I ignored the question and started my way upstairs.

"Jesse! C'mon!"

"Not right now Shan." My tone came off angrier than I had intended, I know I was just mad at myself.

Shan has dropped it though, I could feel her watching me all the way to my room but knew better than it being it up.

That had been at nine. But now it was one thirty in the morning and I couldn't get the idea of how stupid I had acted out of my head. For the last four hours I kept checking my phone, hoping to see a text from him telling me that it's no big deal. Just go back to normal.

But the only person who had texted me was Aisha to tell me that Criminal Minds reruns were playing.

Without much thinking I got to my feet, stumbled into the bathroom, laying towels in the bathroom. Maybe I'm making a mistake. I don't need to tell Shan, it's not that big of a deal. I'm not going to sleep tonight. The door to Shans bedroom is cold against my knuckles. My hand barely touches the wood and I'm convinced that she hadn't heard it.

But I'm wrong.

It takes a second before Shan has opened the door, "finally."

I ignore her comment, stepping into the tub but leave enough room for Shan to sit beside me.

By the way she looks at me I know she wants to cut to the chase. Ask what's the best way to kill Cade, and how we can dump my car afterwords. But instead she asks, "where did he take you? Like you went into the middle of nowhere."

"How do you even know that?"

Her smile if one of guilt, "life 360. Hey, you said I could use it."

"Yea, if I never showed up."

"Well I thought you might be dead. The middle of nowhere is the perfect place to hide a body, or, to get a little closer."

The roll of my eyes is immediately which makes Shan smile. "He took me to a place that means a lot to him, I mean an actual location on a map, not his body." I knew what she was thinking so I shut that down fast. "The only thing I got close with was a McChicken."