Hold me in your arms (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

Chapter 7 : Hate at first sight

It was one of those bad nights again. By 'bad' I mean quiet. Something happened to him again, I don't know what. I knew I had to do something.

He sat at his usual spot and I sat next to him that day. I looked at him, but he was avoiding my gaze. I slowly tried to touch his hand, but he flinched at the sudden contact. I tried again and squeezed his hand tightly and he gently squeezed back.

After a good minute or so, I felt his hand pull me, and so he pulled me into an embrace?

It would be a lie if I told you that I wasn't confused at that moment...but I wasn't complaining. I held him tightly, and he held me tightly back. No words needed to be said, he just needed this. I forgot how it felt for someone to hold me so nicely... and he reminded me.

Time passed and hugs slowly became a normal thing for us. We needed that comfort from time to time. I would just wait for him in our cell to come back from labour, worried like hell that he might be getting punished again. I was so used to having him around that it was odd when he wasn't there. When he did arrive though, I didn't waste a second to hug him.

He used to accept barely any hugs from me, he would push me away or ask me to back off. Yet I kept trying, I liked teasing him in that way. I used to tease him that he was secretly a big softie deep inside. Slowly he would stop pushing me away, gradually he would actually hug me back. After some time he started being the one that initiated these hugs, just like that one night.

His smile was a rare sight, but our hugs changed that.

The opposite was true too, even if Katsuki didn't want to admit it. Whenever I had extra labour to do, he would wait for me in our cell like a worried mother. Even scold me for arriving late.

He tsked,

"How come you're arriving late lately huh! What's he making you do?!" He pouted, walking around the room.

"Nawww, is someone worried about me~~?"

"Pfff- whatever." He pouted even more.

"Don't worry, don't worry. I'm here now."

I watched his body relax slightly at my statement. He sighed. We heard a knock, indicating that our meal was here. We ate and went to sleep... or at least tried to sleep...

"Hey, Katsuki?" I whispered innocently, looking at the guy who seemed to be sound asleep.

"Yeah?" He suddenly answered, apparently he wasn't asleep.

"Are you asleep?" I asked my dumb question, being half-awake.

He just sighed a bit in disappointment,

"...not anymore."

"Uhm... I can't fall asleep...it's too cold... Mind if I... sleep next to you tonight?" I shivered a bit. It was winter so the nights were colder than usual. I just couldn't stand the cold and I knew that it didn't hurt to ask.

Katsuki stayed quiet for a bit, then mumbled, "...sure..."

I stood up from the bed and stumbled towards him a bit. It was his turn to sleep on the ground that night.

I sat on the ground and scooted over towards him. He usually slept, seated, leaning against the wall next to him. So I sat next to him and took his hand into mine.

He then took that hand, put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer into his warm chest. He cuddled me... like we never have done before. Suddenly that cold winter night... turned into one of my fondest memories.

His warmth, the intimacy, everything, it all made that night unforgettable, one of the many more to come. I will always remember how his warm breath fell on my cheek, or how his strong arms surrounded my body.

I soon realised into the cuddle that we could've slept on the bed instead of this cold ground, but I didn't want to spoil the moment...

Like I've said, there were many more nights like that. He'd always be there to comfort me, and I loved him for it.... We started caring for each other in totally new ways, and we started to realise that...

"What am I to you?" Katsuki mumbled just loud enough for me to hear on one fateful night. It was a question even I was pondering to ask at some point.

"I- don't know, Katsuki." My heart pounded like hell that day, we weren't just friends anymore. I couldn't ignore that fact.

"Well we sure as hell ain't 'just friends'" He called out, somewhat pissed, somewhat confused himself.

"I know that..."

"So what are we?" He demanded an answer.

"I don't know, Katsuki! Give me time to think!"

"Go think all you want- I'm going to sleep."

This was the one of the last nights we slept apart and even one of our last minor fights.

We didn't talk the next morning. We just quietly went to our assignments, but the question echoed throughout my head all day, 'what is he to me?' I didn't see him during our breaks and I just started to miss him again. The moment my labour was done, I unconsciously rushed to our cell. I waited, and waited, and waited for him to arrive.

Then he suddenly appeared, the door shut behind him. He looked me in the eyes, tired, devastated from work. He seemed so vulnerable.

It didn't take him long to embrace me. He pulled me in as fast as he could. He held me for a while and I flashed him a small smile. We realised then and there that we just cared for each other a lot, maybe even beyond that.

"I hate you." He tried to hide his smile, still hugging me tightly.

"Hah," I looked at him into his eyes, smiling like an idiot, "I hate you too."

A bittersweet moment like that, if only it didn't fade away the next day...

Katsuki seemed more pissed than usual.

"What's wrong?" I asked, soothing one of my fresh 'scars' with a bit of water they gave us.

He tsked,

"Why did you have to go and get yourself hurt like that!"

"You know they sometimes hurt us for the hell of it, It's not my fault." I focused on my wound.

"Pfff."

"What's wrong, Katsuki?" He ignored me,

"Katsuki?"

He stood still in front of me,

"I-... don't know if we can get out of here."

"Don't talk like that, we still have to try."

"Try what exactly?! I've been stuck here for years and I've tried and tried... I'm... just pathetic..."

"Hwa? What do you mean 'pathetic'?"

"You heard me!" He yelped out, looking at his scarred arms.

"Each one of these damn scars reminds me of how I fail us... it's hard to ignore those thoughts sometimes...every day- I feel like I just fail you... fail to protect you...and when you get even more scars... I feel like it's all my fault. If only I was strong enough to save us from this hell..." He cried out.

"But you are... and we are gonna get out of here."

"BUT I'M NOT- What can't you understand?? I'm weak, y/n. I can't protect you!" He cried out again, like a child that just wants to be understood.

I don't know how I didn't see it before. My eyes widened in shock at his revelation. I always thought of Katsuki as strong and smart and so many other good things, but no human can keep up with all of those expectations ALL the time.

I felt guilty, I saw him in pain from his and my own brutal scars. It was the truth, he couldn't protect me. He couldn't save us, no one could.

I quickly stood up and embraced him.

"I- I'm sorry..." I yelped out in tears,

"I'm so sorry, Katsuki."