Self Defense

Part one: Damn Clown.......

There was nothing about Gamzee Makara that Dave Strider didn't despise.

It was an honest to God pure and hellish hate.

Blackest black times infinity.

But not that black. You perverted freaks.

The day had started off normal and shitty as ever. Woke up late. Missed the bus. Forgot to brush your teeth. The normal things that contribute to a shitty morning, plus a strife (which you lost, of course) and being buried in a mound of puppet ass. God help you.

The school day was boring as always. But then lunch rolled around, and the bell rang like a chourus of fucking angels, singing of your thirty minute long salvation. You grabbed your food and took your normal seat in between John and Terezi. Adorable nerd. Crazy blind chick who was hella cool.

To bad you didn't swing that way, TZ was totally getting her mack on you.

Back the subject of the "Adorable nerd" as you so befittingly put it. The need was John Egbert the "pranking master" as he had so graciously dubbed himself, who was currently deep in a (rather loud) conversation with Karkat Vantas.

Crabby little bastard was skreeing about one thing or another, to which John would respond calmly and then brace his ears for Karkat's rebuttal. You almost pitied him. Almost.

On the other side of Karkat sat Gamzee, who was halfheartedly sipping a bottle of red shit water, otherwise known as Faygo, and occasionally sneaking glances at TZ.

But they weren't really glances, no, he was glaring at her. And before you can wonder why, the cocky stoner proceeds to stand and saunter over to her.

"Sup bitch? You look fat today."

The table silenced almost immediately.

Terezi frowned slightly, the replied "Shame I can't say the same thing about your dick, Makara."

Burned, good one TZ.

Gamzee growled. He fucking growled at her. "You wanna repeat that mothefucker?"

"I said, Shame I can't say the same thing about your dick, Makara."

Gamzee grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him, then grabbed the collar of her shirt and snarled.

"Learn your motherfucking place, worthless whore."

He raised a fist to strike her her, but it was, of course, blocked by you. Gamzee released Terezi, who was promptly escorted away by Karkat and Vriska. As soon as she was out of sight you turned to Gamzee.

"Dick move, Bro."

He laughed.

You twisted his arm.

He punched you in the stomach. Then the face. Then the stomach again.

You kneed him in the crotch. He released you and doubled over in pain.

By now a crowd had started to gather, gasps were heard and bets were placed.

You kicked him in the stomach. He fell backwards and landed on his ass.

You took this as a sign to stop.

You could hear teachers squabbling around you. You didn't care. They could all go to hell. The worst they could do was kick you out. Oh, the horror.

You glanced back at your friends, they were all staring at you with expressions mixed with terror and respect. You had just fought Gamzee Makara.

And you had won.

Score for the Strider.