Ripped Away (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Harry sat at the kitchen table, eyes down on his empty plate. The rest of the boys nibbled at their food, clearly disinterested.

Anne prepared some tea at the stove. She glanced over to see that Harry hadn’t moved since she’d helped him into his seat.

“Harry, hun, are you sure you don’t want anything? Look, there’s eggs, bacon...” Harry continued to stare blankly at his plate, indicating that the last thing he wanted to do was try to choke down food.

Anne frowned sadly at her damaged son, knowing there was no getting through to him right now. She turned her attention to the rest of the table. “Everything tasting alright, boys?” They all looked up at her and smiled politely, nodding.

“Good, good. I think the water’s ready, anyone care for some tea?” She poured the boiling water into a teapot and retrieved a variation of herbal tea leaves from the cupboard. The room was silent.

Everything was a mess. It was as if the Earth had stopped spinning. Something just felt off about the world, and no one could adjust to it.

It didn’t matter how much time passed. It didn’t matter what anyone said. Nothing was ever going to feel the same. There would always be something missing.

After a few minutes, Harry stood up slowly from his chair. Everyone watched his movements attentively. “I think I need to be alone for a bit.” His voice was quiet and solemn.

As Harry turned away from the table, Liam spoke up. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Harry stopped and looked back at Liam. “Why not?”

Anne stared curiously at the short-haired boy, unaware of the previous conversation the four boys just had. They all bowed their heads in sadness.

When Liam didn’t respond, Harry grew irritated. “Why not, Liam? Tell me, why don’t you think it’s a good idea for me to be alone? Go on, then, say it!”

Liam’s eyes were down, embarrassed. Harry already knew the answer. He wanted to see if Liam would be brave enough to say it out loud.

A few moments went by before Harry spoke again, “There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m responsible for what happened to Crystal. You tell me how I’m supposed to live with that knowledge, and maybe then I’ll care for your opinion.” Without waiting for anyone to respond, he stormed away.

Horrified at Harry’s outburst, Anne stood covering her mouth with her fingers. Liam sat, head down, on the brink of tears, fearing he had pushed Harry over the edge. Louis reached over and rubbed his back comfortingly. Zayn’s eyes remained wide in shock as Niall tried to choke back tears. Misery lingered in the air.

~

Harry curled up to his pillow on the bed, having already started crying. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever stop. It would just be a never-ending supply of tears for the rest of his life.

It wasn’t fair. Crystal wasn’t supposed to die. She was only 23 years old. Her life was taken way too early. She didn’t deserve it.

It should’ve been Harry. He was ready to spend eternity with her, and because of it, she was killed. It was his fault. And he was going to have to live with that, forever.

Maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe he would be better off ending it. Ending the pain, the suffering, the loneliness. He didn’t have to go through with this.

So, what could he do? Well, there were a few bottles of pills in the cabinet of the bathroom, but that would mean that he’d risk running into someone on the way to get them. He didn’t want to see anybody. He wanted his last moments to himself.

Okay, so no pills. Maybe there was something sharp in the bedroom he could find. That would be quick and easy. Granted, it would hurt quite a bit if it didn’t work. And there was no guarantee he’d do it right.

Okay, nothing sharp. He was running out of ideas. Was there nothing he could use, nothing at all? He thought about some stories he’d heard, and how they’d accomplished it. Drugs, guns, knives...nothing he thought of would work.

The thought of doing it made him a little queasy. He’d never thought about it before the incident. He had no reason to. And now, his life was crumbling before him, and for the first time, he wanted nothing more than for it to end.

He thought about what it might do to the boys. What would happen to the band? Would any of them follow him? How much emotional distress could they take?

Thinking of the band, he wondered if he’d ever be able to perform again, if he were to stay alive. Would he be able to stand in front of thousands of people and sing a song like ‘Moments’ after all that’s happened? He squeezed his eyes shut at the thought of the song. It sickened him how much he could relate to it, especially since he never thought he’d ever, EVER have to.

Then, he clued in.

“As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all.”

That was it.

That was his ticket out.

He sat up and glanced around the room. His eyes caught sight of Liam’s laptop cord.

And then, without a moment’s hesitation, he made his decision.

~~~

Hello, hello!

How's everybody doin'?

Well, I'm sure you're probably not happy with my decisions on how to carry this story but I encourage you not to panic! Rest assured that I will end it appropriately :)

But thusfar, how is it? Too dark, too unrealistic? Let me know what you guys think!

Until next week! (or whenever I'm able to put up the next chapter, got myself a busy week ahead performing in The Little Mermaid as Ariel! Whoo!)

Bye for now!

Crystal xx