Ripped Away (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Harry looked up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He was wearing his lavender dress shirt under a black suit, topped off with a jet-black tie. If Crystal could see him, she’d think he looked very handsome indeed. He wore her favorite colors well.

As he stared into his own eyes, he could feel the loneliness begin to settle in. For the past week or so, he hadn’t really been able to look anyone in the eyes. He didn’t want them to see the pain that lurked within. He wanted them to believe that he was fine - which he knew he could never be. When Crystal looked into his eyes, she could see everything, and he let her in. He was okay with showing her his vulnerability. And now that she was gone, his eyes would be the portal to a world only he could be allowed to see; a world where his soul would remain shattered forever.

A light knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. “Harry? You okay in there?” Liam asked gently.

Harry took a deep breath before opening the door. Liam seemed as if he were fighting to hide his emotions. He smiled tightly and gripped Harry’s shoulder comfortingly. Harry returned the smile silently before stepping past Liam to retrieve his shoes. He didn’t rush in putting them on.

~

Stepping out of the sleek black rental, Harry glanced upward at the church. It was huge. Harry had never been to Crystal’s church before, though she lived only ten minutes away. His heart raced with the thought of her body lying only yards away from where he was standing. He wasn’t sure he was prepared to see her just yet.

He followed Paul, Anne and the boys through the big wooden doors that marked the entrance. It was dim, since the only light was provided by many burning candles scattered around the room. Harry thought it was more comforting this way, since it was difficult to see everyone’s anguished faces.

Paul had walked over to greet the priest and Anne was observing the beauty of the place, all decorated in purple flowers and lightly scented candles. The five boys stood quietly, respectfully, to the side.

Harry scanned the room automatically, like the way someone would inconspicuously look for their crush in a crowded room. He noticed many of Crystal’s family members were gathered near the front, talking amongst themselves. A few people sat alone in the pews, grieving their loss in solitude.

He could feel his breath pick up as he glanced at the altar, waiting to notice the smooth box that carried his most precious love.

But instead, he saw nothing. There was no casket to be found.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he scanned the room once more, since they had perhaps placed her body elsewhere. But again, there was nothing.

Harry turned his head towards Louis, who was standing at his side. “Where is she?”

Louis stared at Harry for a moment, his lips parting as though he wasn’t prepared to answer. He then looked forward without a word. Harry followed his gaze to the front of the altar. He focused his vision and finally noticed a small table holding a glimmering silver statue of a sleeping cat.

Harry was confused. He looked back at Louis with questioning eyes. Louis glanced down at the ground before returning his stare. He seemed like he was about to burst with sadness.

Just then, Harry felt a tsunami of understanding wash over him. The cat wasn’t a statue. It was an urn.

Tears welled in his eyes as he processed this. Crystal had been cremated. Her gorgeous eyes, smile, everything...burned to ash. There was nothing left of her. Nothing to see one last time. The last image he would have would be of her lying half-dead on a hospital stretcher, soaked in her own blood. The idea finally made it to Harry’s head: Crystal was no more.