Chapter 22

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He parks outside of a fence and he grabs something from the back of the truck before running over and hopping over the fence. We walk to the edge of the lake. It's fall so the leaves are all different colors and the water is perfectly still.

Zack lays down a blanket and when we sit, our arms touch. I don't even bother trying to control my heart beat; it's pointless.

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask curiously.

He runs a hand through his hair. "Why not?"

I give him a look and he shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. "I... it reminded me of that book you like. Where they have picnics and stuff. The one with Joann."

Joann? I stop and look at him incredulously. "You read Little Women?"

"No," he replies quickly but I can tell he's lying. He sighs. "Just a little," he admits. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

"I bet you cried when Beth died," I tease.

He rolls his eyes. "Very funny," he says sarcastically. "I'm not going soft, though."

"Of course not," I say and pat his hair affectionately. His face softens.

"Why do you like it so much?" he asks.

I breathe deeply. No one's ever asked me before. "I mean, I love reading in general, but Jo March was a really revolutionary character- at the time especially. She's so strong but she's not afraid to admit her weakness either. And their family has such a strong love, something that I want. And there's one particular quote where I..." I pause. "I'm boring you, aren't I?" I ask sheepishly,

His expression isn't bored, though. It's soft. Like he could listen to me talking all day.

"Not at all."

---

"So how come you aren't a writer? Didn't you apply for CS?" he asks as we start to walk back to the truck.

"It's not a stable option; CS is," I recite.

"But you love it, I can tell," he says.

I look down. "My mom basically decided since I was born that compsci is the path for me. I don't even have time to write; it's too... distracting."

His gaze sets on me. "But what do you want?" he asks simply. Like that one question answers all others.

I fiddle with my fingers. "I don't know," I admit.

"How are you gonna find out if you spend all of your time in your room coding?" he asks softly.

Honestly, I don't know. I'm 16 and I don't have a dream. At this point, I've kind of accepted that there's nothing that I'll ever love to do, so I might as well go with what's safe, right?

"My mom makes the rules," I say. As pathetic as it is, it's the truth.

He gives me a grin, his eyes sparkling. "The thing about rules is they're meant to be broken."

---

Finally, he brings me to the football field. It's locked when I pull on the door.

"How are we gonna get in?" I ask.

Zack gives me a devious look. "I'm gonna smash the lock with my bare hands and kick the door open."

"Really?" I ask suspiciously.

He blinks. "No." He points to an open door a couple steps away.

Totally empty, the field's actually very peaceful. No screaming teenagers or loud music. Just a wide, open field.

"My home," Zack says, his face relaxing. He walks to the middle of the field with complete confidence. Like he owns it.

We sit side-by-side, his long legs stretched out while I hug mine to my chest. The sky is dark but it's dotted with tiny, shining stars. The stadium lights are one and I can hear crickets singing in the distance.

"How did you know you loved football?" The silence amplifies my voice.

He thinks for a while, staring up at the sky. "My dad taught me when I was a kid. Before he left." His voice is calm but there's sadness in his eyes.

"That must've been hard," I say.

He shrugs. "Remember that keychain I dropped in your car?" he asks. A soft smile appears on my lips as I remember. It's crazy how things have changed between us. Back then, I would have never guessed he would make such a presence in my life.

I nod. "He gave it to me," Zack says, his eyes half-shut. He breathes deeply. "I wasn't good, you know. Not like Jaden. I just thought it was fun; I liked it. And it was with my dad so I started to love it. I practiced twice as hard as everyone else. Even when he left... It just made me more determined." His jaw hardens. "One day, he's gonna see me throwing TDs on ESPN and see what he lost." His face is stone cold, but his eyes are glassy.

"He missed out on a lot," I tell him. He nods to himself.

"That's the dream," he says. "Go pro, make a shit ton of money, and make sure my mom and brother never have to work another day in their lives. We're gonna be untouchable." He stares forward with a hardset look in his eyes and the sound of his breath fills the stadium. "What's your dream?" he asks.

If only I knew. If only I had one. There's no job that I can see myself truly happy with.

"I want a family," I say. "I don't really know what I want my career to be yet but I know I want a good-ass mom. One who hugs her kids and goes prom dress shopping with them and sings them to sleep..."

He looks over at me. "Your mom's strict, huh?"

I nod, picking at the turf. "Not to my brother, though. He's perfect to her." I let go of the turf in my hands. "I know she's my mom and she's given me so much but... I feel like I'm never enough for her. I work so hard but I never meet her expectations and I feel like I don't even want that much." My voice breaks. "I just want her to be proud of me."

"I'm sure she is," he says. Those shiny eyes look at me tenderly and he brushes a piece of my hair behind my ear.

I shake my head. "You don't know my mom."

"She has to be blind not to see how amazing you are," he says.

My insides flip and flutter. I pull my legs closer to me. "I'm pretty plain, like you said."

His brows furrow. "You're definitely not plain," he says and reaches out to brush my face. His hand rests on my cheek, caressing it, and it feels so good that I don't want him to stop. Our eyes lock and he starts to lean towards me.

I close my eyes.

He backtracks and moves away.

"What was that?" I ask, confused and honestly a little mad.

"What?"

"You were gonna kiss me," I say. I'm shocked at my own straightforwardness.

"No," he denies.

My face curves into a pout. "Why not?"

"What?" He smiles and looks deep into my eyes. "Amelia, your first kiss is gonna count." He lays down. "I'm saving it."

Butterflies fill my stomach and I lie down next to him.

"Coward," I taunt.

"What?" He starts to tickle and a million giggles escape me. "What'd you just say to me?" I stick out my tongue at him and get up to run. We're chasing each other and he catches me, wrapping his arms around my waist, when I hear them.

Police sirens.


A/N: last update for the week. thanks for reading :))

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