My Journey with God

*His Plan*

In my past stories, I've talked about extraordinary events that happened in my life. But recently, my mom brought up something that I haven't thought about since middle school. My Aspergers. Now most of you know what Aspergers is, but for hose who don't; Asperger Syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects the ability to effectively socialize and communicate. Those who have this disorder are all affected differently but I want to share with you how it affected me and how I got to where I am today.    When I was 9 or 10 years old, my parents noticed that I was severely anxious. I was scared of animals and riding a bike, I would walk around with my hands over my ears, I was sensitive to noises and clothing and I was socially awkward up until high school. I had a really hard time connecting. In elementary, I was mostly found playing by myself and when I hung out with relatives I wandered off to do my own thing. I was very shy and easily pushed around. I had a sweet and forgiving nature which made me an easy target for bullies. Most of them called me names and pushed me around because I was too scared to defend myself while others I thought were my best friends. They pretended to be my friend to get what they wanted, they manipulated my feelings so I would feel sorry for them and forgive them. I didn't have many real friends in high school. I felt left out, a freak. There were days when I just wanted to disappear.  I felt like god wasn't on my side but my parents urged me to keep pushing through. They kept telling me, "God has a plan for you."  During my sophomore and junior year of high school, I started writing and posting stories on Wattpad. Writing was my release, my therapy. I t felt like I was creating my own world., a portal from reality. After some time I slowly became more confident, I didn't worry about what people said or thought about me. I thought to myself that I don't need friends, I have my parents and God by my side. After spending some time alone, I met some amazing people my junior year of high school . They included me into their group, They made me a part of their family. I felt happy and full of love and hope. I soon forgot about all I had been through and looked towards the future. I graduated and still keep in touch with my high school friends. I went to a college and made more friends. I had an amazing roommate who I loved but she soon had to move back home which left me in an apartment all alone. I missed her. Once again I felt alone, I felt myself falling back into that dark hole and didn't know if I could crawl back out. I moved back home with my parents where I worked. I told them I was fine and not to worry. I kept telling myself, " God has a plan for me." Around Christmas, an old friend introduced me to a friend of his and we started talking and hanging out. We eventually started dating and I didn't feel alone. He made me feel happy and safe. He made me laugh and always listened to me. I got my own place to get a fresh start and  I started making friends at work. My coworkers who I thought saw me as a weirdo were talking to me and wanted to hang out. It's months since I crawled out of that dark hole and I feel like everything bad that ever happened to me has disappeared. I have a loving, supportive family, my own apartment, and incredible friends who I know will always have my back. I've been through a lot and have fought many obstacles but my parents were right, God DOES have a plan for me. He put me through a tough childhood to make me strong and push through no matter how hard or how scared I was.  Every child born with Aspergers will go through something different. It may be good, it may be bad. Either way, God gave us this for a reason. We may not know it yet but we can't give up when things get tough. No. We have to be tougher and push through because God has a plan for all of us. We may not know what lies ahead but it's up to us to see it through to the end.          

 I hope you enjoyed my story. I dedicate to my parents and to all the people who have helped get to where I am. I've shared my story and now it's time to write your own.