Save me

Days clean 0

It's 3am, no one hears my tears no one cares. I sit there thinking is this my time to go, is this the end. It's the usual for me, it repeats every night. I wish it would end, I don't mean the repetitive nights, I mean my life. I decide to just slice my skin in all different ways, prepare for the bracelet over load. I tip toe to the bathroom, making sure I don't wake up my step mum. I open the cabinet grabbing a box, that box holds my best friends, I hold the rusty blade in my fingers, pressing the cold metal to my arm. It just repeats, tonight was different though. I laughed, I laughed at the pain, I found it hilarious, I let the blood drip from my arm, that took about 10 minutes, I wrapped my arm up. Walking back to my room. As I lye in my bed I grab my pillow, the thoughts start going and the tears are back. I drift off to sleep
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I wake up suddenly by the sound of my alarm, "6am oh great." I mumble to my self. I get out of bed walking to my mirror. I shrug at the sight I see. "Autumn you need to pull yourself together." I throw my hair in a bun, walking to my bathroom. I see the dry blood I forgot to wash out the sink last night. The memories this bathroom holds are terrible. I wash out the blood. Applying a bit of makeup to my face hiding my bruises. I go back to my room, finding a decent outfit. It was my normal black jeans and oversized grey jumper, with my boring lilac hair. I run to my closet to grab my vans. I walk to my drawers getting out my bracelets. Piling them on two by two. I walk down stairs. My younger
brother Thomas starts a conversation with me "hey faggot." He says "I'm not in the mood." I reply. I quickly run to the downstairs bathroom, brushing my teeth. Those were one thing I hated about my self.
I grab my bag and head out the door, I usually don't say goodbye to my dysfunctional family. I put my head phones in, pierce the veil is the first thing that plays. I take my time walking to school. It isn't that far and I hate busses. Anyway I don't care if I'm late arriving to hell.