A Very Serious Story About Love

How It All Started

[insert non descriptive intro song]

You're probably wondering how I got here, well it all started when my mom met my dad and they had me. Hi I'm Kass and I'm a demon but I'm not your average demon. I have a tErRiBLe cUrSe, very terrible indeed. It all started when the human nation attacked, them bitches had guns. We had eternal damnation so of course we won, but you know-they tried. Anyway this, [pans to Cedar] [wacky music plays] is Cedar he's also a demon, one of those gay ones the Catholic Church warns you about. He like-lives with me I guess, he kinda showed up and never left. Like a cat, a very dramatic bitchy cat. Moving on this is, [pans to senpapi by the window in the corner of the classroom] [sakura petals show up out of no where because ✨aesthetic✨] this is my bitch, Zoomzoom. He doesn't know he's my bitch yet though, I'd tell him but that means talking and that's a job I'm not willing to do. He transferred here from Main Character High, so of course he's talented in the art of being confused at every situation he's put into. Such a talent shouldn't be wasted on someone like-uGh [pans to popular boy in the front of the class] [room gets darker but lights up around him because he's a bitch] That's Matt, he's Zoomzoom's boyfriend. But he's a bitch, and Zoomzoom just sits there and lets him e x i s t. Does he not realize he's not the good kind of bitch?? I'll never know...*deep sigh that lets you know the character is thinking about someone they like* Zoomzoom won't notice me senpai so it's not like he'll ever know. It's ok though because I have this tErRiBLe cUrSe, and if I ever date someone-

Well you don't wanna know that do you?? That's boring demon stuff, like that thing Cedar does when he leaves and comes back with back pain. Wonder what that's all about-
Whatever lets see is there anyone I forgot?? Hmmmmm-
Oh yeah [quickly pans to two girls sitting together] [pornhub theme plays] [one of them is drawing dogs dogging] [the other is eating a popsicle weirdly] the furry's Haley she's also a demon, and the other's Aimee she too is a demon. Basically everyone in this school is a demon except the main antagonist and love interest. Anyhow, these two have been butting into Cedar and I's lives no matter what we do we can't get rid of them. Cedar even got horny bitch repellent and they just threw bad fanfic and porn at us. It was truly a horrific day.
I think that's it for my intro??? So I guess I can end this he-
"ACTUALLY Mr.PP Lucifer is super chill-"
"No one asked you Cedar"
"I'm just sayin, how bad can the truth possibly be?"
"Cedar"
"He's kinda hot get it??cuz hell-"
"CEDAR"
"Yes Mr.PP?"
"Shut up"
Ah, I guess it's not the end of the fic-
[scene changes to Kass and Cedar walking down the hall so we can reuse the animation]
"Hey did you do the math homework?"
"Dude we don't do math, we're demons"
"Oh yeah-"
[sad music plays as senpapi and bad person walk side by side]
*long sigh*
"Dude- just like kick him-"
"What??why would I kick him??"
"It always works for me-"
"Cedar you haven't even lost your virginity-"
[the tree is shooketh]
"I never f u c k i n lose"
Damn he really pulled that card, well jokes on him cuz he just activated my trap card.
"Yeah well..-you are...asexual"
Nailed it.
"Well you're like...a person???"
Damn that was a good one-
[scene changes again to them sitting in a living room not theirs mind you]
"I still say you should kick him"
"I say you should mind your own damn business"
"You're really bad at being mean to me-"
"You're bad at being mean period-"
"Damn you got me there"

"I should kick him-"