Fear Of Rejection (Dawson's Book 1) | COMPLETED

Chapter 1 - Nash POV

I get up off the floor and wipe the blood from my lip. This is nothing new to me. Every year it's the same. Almost as if he's reading off a script. "Happy birthday you no good piece of shit" he says. Then comes the kick to the ribs. Oh fuck that hurts. When will this shit end.

This all started three weeks before my tenth birthday. Me and my mother were walking by the edge of our packs territory while my father was setting up a surprise for us at home. Yes you heard right, before my mother's death he was a decent father. He would teach me how to play sports, tell me how one day I will meet my mate and I need to treat her right and he was basically my best friend, at least he was until that day.

While me and my mother were walking around rouges had found us and attacked. It all happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to react. One of them had me pinned down and was about to rip my throughout when my mother pushed him off me. "I'm gonna kill you, you little bitch and I'm gonna make your little boy watch."

I stood there frozen as the rouge ripped my mother to shreds. I remember feeling like my entire world had just been ripped away from me. My body instantly felt cold. There was nothing I could do about it, My mother was gone and noting I could do world bring her back. I was so big out of control when my father came running towards us but it was too late. My mother was already dead and the rouges had run away. "What happened? Why didn't you try to stop them?" my father yelled but I couldn't answer. I just stood there frozen until my father hit me.
Why would he blame me. I tried to save her I wanted to say. But the words were stuck in my throat. 

Ever since that day he despised me. He blamed my for her death. He was so consumed in his pain and rage that he didn't realise I was only a child, that even if I tried to fight the rouges then I would have met the same fate as my mother.
Maybe that is what he wanted.
Every year, my birthday seemed to bring the worst out of him. This was when he was most violent. It was like he held on to his anger and violence towards me because it was the only emotion he had left. Otherwise he was just a cold emotionless zombie.
Each year seemed to get worse. I'm just not sure how much longer I can take it. Before it literally kills me. Maybe that would be for the best if he did. Maybe then I could finally have some peace.

My father came back into my room and I prepared myself to get hit again but to my surprise he just stood in front of me with his arms crossed. "There is something we need to discuss Nash" he said in a deathly calm voice. One that sent shivers down my spine.
I can already tell I'm not going to like what he has to say. "Y-yes sir" I try to keep calm. Panicking won't help my situation

"Today is your sixteenth birthday which means soon you will be taking over alpha position and you will find your mate" I smile when he mentions my mate. The though of her is what's kept me fighting all these years. There were times when I so desperately wanted to give up. To let myself waist away to nothing and let death claim me, then I would think of my sweet mate. Who was she? What would she be like?
In my mind I pictured her to be like my mother. Caring and fun living, always bringing light to my life. I can't wait until I meet her and get away from the constant misery I suffer through daily. "When you do I want you to reject her" father says shocking the shit out of me. I knew the man was heartless but I never expected him to say anything like this.

"W-what do you mean. Why would I reject my mate" he gives me a glair and if looks could kill....
I almost apologise to him for questioning him but I manage to hold my tongue. Apologising would only make what's to come worse.

. "Because love makes you weak. When you become Alpha I want you to help me take over the Bloodmoon pack".
The Bloodmoon pack is one of the strongest packs in the country, there is no way I could ever defeat them and I don't want to. "I'm sorry sir but if being your Alpha means killing innocent people, taking over another pack and rejecting the one person in this world who will love me unconditionally and make me happy then I don't want to be Alpha". My father punched me right in the eye and pain shoots through me. I can't already feel my eye swell shut and my head pound.

"You will do what I tell you, you ungrateful little shit. Let me make this easy for you, if you refuse the Alpha position and accept you little mate I will not only kill you, I will kill her two. I will kill her first and make you watch just like you watched my mate die. I can't have you and your mate ruining everything I've built".
I wanted to ask him what he was talking about. My mate would make me stronger not weak, so what is he going on about?
I want to argue with him but I k ow that another hit from him could put my life in serious danger. I'm about to pass out as it is and he wouldn't take me to hospital. There is already a chance I could have internal bleeding.

Not willing to risk my life I just nod in reply to my father.
My mate would be better off with out me anyway. What sort of life could I provide for her