Friends...Or More?

5: The Big Idea

I walked Phil to the car and opened the door for him. He was quite sleepy so I had to assist him with putting his seatbelt on. As I struggled to put the metal part in the 'clunker' - don't ask - he kept kissing my cheek. It put me off a bit but its Phil. If he puts me off, I don't give a f**k.

Once I had fastened Phil in, I hopped into the front seat by my mum and we drove back home.

Mum turned the radio up, but not so loud as to damage Phil's hearing. The song 'Thinking Out Loud' was softly playing from the stereo, and I sung along quietly to the words.

"Darling I will be loving you 'til we're seventy / and baby my heart could still fall as hard at twenty-three."

Phil was humming in the back seat to the song, albeit out of tune.

"Baby we found love right where we AAAAAAAARE!" He yelled at the top of his voice. I flinched. Obviously the drugs hadn't worn off just yet.

*****

The moment we got through the front door, Charlie screamed with happiness. Phil is like another brother to Charlie.

"Philly! You're here! I missed you. I didn't know if you would be okay. Hi Dan." Charlie said. He's lovely to Phil, but its a different story with me.

I closed the front door and put on the chain then went to make Phil a mocha. I have my own special way of making a mocha - adding hot chocolate powder to coffee powder then add water; once you've done that, pour in melted chocolate and cream; make sure you get a nice white froth on top then get a Cadbury's Flake and break some of that to it; just for good measure, add marshmellows and an umbrella.

Phil walked into the kitchen and grabbed his mocha. We sat down on the bar stools by the kitchen island and I got out two straws - one for me and one for Phil.

We were going to play Malteser football. This is a classic game we have played since we were about 10.

The rules (if you wanna play):
1. Get two straws and a lot of Malteser chocolates
2. Set up a 'playing field' e.g. use pencils to make a rectangle shape and if you have netting use that for the goals (but you can use small cardboard boxes too)
3. To make the Maltesers move around the pitch, blow down the straws - dont suck
4. 1st person to get 10 goals wins
5. Eat any remaining chocolates

In the end Phil won the game 10-3 but he let me have the Maltesers because he wasn't hungry. Maltesers give me LIFE. I force-fed him into eating a couple but he just kept trying to spit them out the little bugger.

We started talking about what we would do if we ever got married to anyone because we were at that stage in our lives when we had to start looking for girls. Like I said earlier, I'm gay and don't want a girl, but Phil is bisexual so it just depends if he finds a lady over me, the tramp.

"But I love you more than any girl I've ever seen Dan," he said to me, looking me right in the eye. His sparkle was coming back. It had never faded away completely after the accident, but I could see a ray of hope in his eyes. To celebrate, we decided to have an intense make-out seasion.

"I love you Phil" I said to him mid-snog, "Let's go upstairs."

I grabbed his hand and Phil looked incredibly excited.

I opened my door quickly, went inside with Phil and locked it with my key.

Phil pushed me onto the bed gently and collapsed ontop of me, kissing up and down my neck. Phil began to fiddle with my belt. He managed to unbuckle it and threw it on the floor, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I pulled off his shirt and he pulled off mine. I reached for the elastic of his trousers but couldn't muster the courage to remove them.

"I umm... I can't Phil..." I said, nervously, "I'm not ready."

He turned to face me and kissed my forehead.

"I love you Daniel James Howell," he whispered into my ear, "More than anyone in the world. It doesn't matter whether you're ready now or not; one day your body will decide you will be ready. You're still a boy inside Dan - still that innocent little kid who'd always babble on forever about Hot Wheels and Moshi Monsters. Your babbling is one of the reasons that I love you."

I couldn't say anything back or do anything back other than hug him as tightly as possible. I leant in and kissed him, stroking his cheek. A piece of hair fell infront of his face and I brushed it away.

I broke the kiss and snuggled under the comforter. Phil snaked his arms around me. I didn't wriggle and writhe to escape his grasp - I just wanted him to hold me closer. He closed his eyes gently. I hadn't realised until that point what beautiful long lashes Phil had. They were ink black.

Then I had an idea.

I was going to propose.