When They Become One | Seventeen

Eleven: "𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡"

Jeonghan and Seungcheol walked back inside their classroom and let go of each other's hands, Seungcheol was grinning like an idiot, meanwhile, Jeonghan was looking down blushing and smiling to himself, they both walked their seats "So what happened?" "We made up and everything's good now!" The oldest said still grinning happily showing his adorable gummy smile making Jeonghan smile more, "Okay now that one problem is solved let's continue where we left off, shall we? Who's going next?"

As the class went on, Seungkwan was lost in thought staring blankly at his paper, with his name written widely on it, it had many different words also written on it like 'Cute' 'funny' and '𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡', the teacher said the point of this activity was to get 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 when they're down, but Seungkwan felt the total opposite, he felt sad and betrayed, all the words written on the paper looked like 𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨 to Seungkwan, he felt nothing near motivated when looking at them, he just wanted to dig a hole and hide there and just cry....cry the pain away. Seungkwan always saw himself as an ugly fat gay kid that was there to gossip around and make gags for people to laugh at, he faked his confidence and hid his pain behind his bright smile and sassy attitude. It hurt Seungkwan to be like this but he couldn't help it, every time he looked in the mirror he just sees a...𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙚...an ugly and fat idiot that knows nothing but how to be funny and be laughing stock of make everyone around him happy. Tears welled up in Seungkwan's eyes, caused by his own thoughts, he quickly blinked his tears away when he realized he was still I'm class and the teacher was calling him " Seungkwan... Dear, are you okay? You looked like you were cry-" "I'm fine! Just something got stuck in my eyes and I was trying to get it out!" he said flashing a happy smile and talking with his usual sarcasm in his voice to make him sound like the typical happy and sassy Seungkwan everyone knows "Oh okay then it's your turn, do you have anyone you want to say anything to?" Seungkwan shook his head making it obvious that he didn't want to get up and talk in front of everyone "Okay then everyone's turn is over, class dismissed!" and with that, the thirteen boys are their lunch and returned to their shared dorm.

~~~

"Seungkwan Hyung! Let's go watch sponge bob in the living room, it's your favorite episode!" "Sorry Chan I'm not feeling very well today, I promise I'll make it up for you when I get better" Seungkwan gave a small smile to the now disappointed and sad "But you've been saying that for the past week Hyung~" the youngest whined making Seungkwan smile a little bigger, he ruffled his hair and said "Sorry bud" with that Chan stomped out the room closing the door behind him. It's been two weeks since Seungkwan started using the excuses 'I'm tired' or 'I'm not feeling well' to distance himself from the rest of housemates, he got tired of faking his feelings and acting as if he was okay. Almost every night he would sob quietly and cry himself to sleep, he stopped eating to lose weight trying to convince himself that he will feel better about himself if he got skinny.

As Seungkwan was about to close his eyes, he heard a knock on the door, he let out a soft 'Come in' before the person behind the door walked inside "Hey dinner is ready let's go eat" said Hansol "I'm not really hungry-" "Okay I'm done with this, you're coming with me and you're going to eat! Look how weak you look!" the caucasian forcefully dragged the older to the dining area "Hansol stop I don't want to eat" "No you're going to eat whether you like it or not" "Hansol I said STOP!" Seungkwan said with all his might trying to stop the younger, Hansol turned to look at Seungkwan with a mix of anger and concern in his eyes, he didn't let go of Seungkwan's wrist and kept looking at him "I won't stop until you eat" "But I said I don't want to why are you being like this!" Seungcheol walked inside the dining room with the rest of their housemates following behind looking at the two with confusion and worry "What's happened? Why are shouting and holding Seungkwan's wrist like that? He'll get hurt" Hansol turned to the oldest I'm the room tightening the grip on Seungkwan's wrist causing him to wince in pain "You're hurting him!" said Jeonghan running to the two but Hansol backed away pulling Seungkwan back with him, as much as Seungkwan wanted to fight back and push Hansol away, his energy was drained out, he didn't eat anything for almost three days, the only thing he would put in his mouth was water, and him shouting at Hansol drained the energy out of him, he felt his world slowly starting to spin at the slightest action, he tried to stop himself from falling but he couldn't anymore, his legs failed him causing him to fall but before he hit the ground Hansol helped him faster than flash