~𝑴𝒚 𝑫𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚~ {𝑴𝑷}

Sleepyheads

~y/n pov~

I've been here for awhile now

Maybe like 15 minutes

This place is so peaceful

I come here whenever i need to clear my thoughts

this is the only spot my best friends know about

i have other places to that they don't know about but they don't have to know

I like this view

The light of the moon reflecting on the lake

The late night florida breeze

But it starts to hit me

I almost broke down in front of Mattia

He doesn't know me!!

Why does he care?

The boys act like they care but they don't!

That bastard couldn't even love his own daughter

They don't care

They're just pretending since we are giving them somewhere to sleep

That's all

Once they leave they'll act like i never existed

But what if they do care

what if they actually care about me...

And wanna actually be my friends

Maybe i could open up

But...

I don't wanna get hurt again

What if they leave me?

What if I hurt them?

What if I tell them my past and they see me differently?

Or they tell others and make fun of me

I start overthinking about all the possible situations

The next crazier than the last

I take a shaky deep breath and try to calm myself down

If they want me to open up to them...

They'll have to try and earn my trust

Having trust issues sucks

But at least you can know whos fake and whos real

Just like my anger issues

A blessing and a curse

I lose my patience and get mad

But only if you start annoying me

Idk if I'm ready to let them in

but Mattia...

He's different

I don't know what makes him different he just is...

But i bet he doesn't even like me

So i shouldn't even try

I'm not gonna simp over someone that probably doesn't even like me