extremely concerning fanfictions

lovin' greens (explicit)

i have a very important public service announcement.

i am now sexually attracted to anything that is green. yes. the color green makes me horny af. for instance, while i was at imax for the premier of the new grinch movie, words cannot describe how turned on i was when that green bastard showed his face on that silver screen. i almost couldn't help myself, and immediately started touching myself, while hiding it behind my popcorn bucket. not too long after an usher had to escort me out because of the lewd noises coming from my direction. i was highly upset that i didn't get to finish. the movie as well  while i was driving home, all with being sexually frustrated, i noticed something while i was waiting at the red light. somebody had a pickle rick bumper sticker on the back of their car. obviously, i got an instant orgasm because of it. and when i noticed the red light had changed green (due to being honked at repeatedly by several cars behind me) i came a second time because of the green light. as soon as i reached apartment complex i ran into my bathroom to change out of my underwear and into some cleaner clothing. while i was going through my twitter feed, i eventually got turned on again, my feed flooded with that sexy green cunt, the grinch. i couldn't take it anymore as i sat there touching myself at that sexy greasy fur bag, and that devilish grin we could give off in those posters i would see around town. after hours of back to back orgasms and clenching my shrek plushie, i sit in the dark room and think to myself: how can something so green and ugly to everyone else, make me this god damn horny?