Coming Home

#9: That Night

Part 9

Spencer~

For the days that we stayed in her house, I never once saw a sign in her parents, or even her sister for that matter, that would tell me about what happened to her here. Not that I was looking so hard. It's difficult sometimes, to keep myself from looking at all the little moves people make. It's difficult to not immediately think the worst of everyone around me after all of the horrible parts of humanity that I've seen. I had been in situations similar to hers before. I knew the pain of thinking that your trauma is something for only you to handle. The terrifying feeling that maybe it won't go away, thinking constantly that I'm just a burden. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone, especially not anyone I love as much as her.

I looked up from my seat at the counter to where Sophie and her sister were talking in hushed voices. Every once in a while I would see the both of them look at the pictures adorning the walls of the house. At some of them they would give a faint smile, while at others a small grimace. I heard little bits of their conversations sometimes, slowly putting together what I missed.

"We promised not to talk about-"

"Well we also said we wouldn't-"

"Have you seen-"

"No, I assumed they were-"

It was that moment, that I'm sure of. The moment none of them would speak of. Something that not only made the three siblings closer than ever, but also more afraid of losing one another than they ever had been. Something big enough to scare two of three of them out of the state the same year, to never come back. Something so terrifying to all of them that they would never even talk about it.

Sophie~

Spencer sat at my kitchen counter slowly eating the soup I had made for him the previous night. Lu and I were in the doorway to the living room talking as quietly as we could.

"If you would just tell him we wouldn't have to-"

"No, not yet, I don't want to have to bring him into this!"

We were talking about that night. The night that the three of us would keep guarded forever. Less than two months after that night I left for college and never came back. That is, until now. I knew I had to tell Spencer. I was waiting until we could go home. When I wasn't here anymore, then maybe, but it seemed that we wouldn't be leaving for at least another week. I didn't want to keep dodging his questions. But the fact of the matter is, not only does this change everything for him, but for me as well. And I am notoriously bad with change. After keeping this to myself for all these years, the prospect of telling someone else terrified me. Even if that person was Spencer.

"Sophie, I love you, you know that. We both know what happened wasn't our fault. But not telling him doesn't make it go away. You have to do it. Staying here without him knowing just puts him and you more at risk than ever."

Spencer~

Now that, I heard. Loud and clear even though my brain was hazy from pain and sleep. What risk? If something happened to her I don't know what I would do. Another loss in my life would be too much. I only had her left to lose. She's all I have left.

"Sophie if you're in trouble you know I would help you, right?" I attempted to stay quiet but the thought of her trying to do this on her own was one step I wasn't willing to take.

She quickly turned around after hearing my voice and rubbed a hand over her forehead.

"If somethings wrong you need to tell me. I can help." she put her hand down and walked toward me.