Coming Home

#10: Final

Part 10

Spencer~

I must have sat there in silence for at least five minutes. I kept my hand on her back and tried to keep my own breathing calm. I know it's cliche to say I never thought it would happen to me. But it's true. Even in my line of work, you never think it'll happen to you, until it does. I stared at the dirt beneath my feet and wondered what question to ask first. When I finally lifted my head, hers was down, refusing to meet my face.

"So, Ben?" It wasn't the first on my list, but I knew the story hadn't ended just yet. She only stopped it there because she was too afraid, and I knew that feeling all too well.

"He received an envelope the same as mine two weeks before he killed himself." My brain switched modes as she spoke. I went from boyfriend to profiler before I could really stop myself. I mean, anyone would in that situation right? It can't just be a coincidence.

"Did you know that-"

"That he was going to kill himself? No. he sent me pictures of his envelope just like I did when we were in highschool. We talked on the phone hours before. I've talked to people on the edge before, I've talked people off the edge before. He wasn't planning it. That i'm sure about."

I thought back to the first night she stayed at my apartment. Before we moved in together, I think it was after about a month of dating that she slept there for the first time. I remembered how guarded she was at first. How she would always wear something that went at least down to her knees. That first night she put on a sweater of mine and for the first time I saw her scars. Not just on her legs, but on her torso as well. Long intentional, surgical scars. I never asked.

"Soph, those scars, were they from-" she cut me off again, hearing me say it seemed to be too much for her.

"Some of them are from the surgeries. Some aren't" the pain in her voice was too much. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. What I would do if I could get my hands on the man that did this-

"Let me find him." it came out before I even knew I wanted to say it.

Sophie~

I finally looked up.

"What?"

"Let me find the man who did this. Give me the word and I will have the whole team looking for him. Or just me, I don't care about who does it. Let me make sure that he can't take one more thing from you."

The tears that I had just gotten to stop came back. I knew he would do that. I knew he would do anything to protect me. But to be honest, I didn't feel like I deserved it.

"After all the lies that I've told to you? My best friend killed himself because of someone that only wanted to hurt me. How am I any better than he is?"

My lips trembled when I looked at Spencer. Even in all of the pain that he has been in, all of the emotions I'm sure he felt as I told him my story, he hadn't cried. Not until now.

Spencer~

I had kept strong for her. As she first saw me, when she first heard me speak, when she told me of all that happened to her. But hearing her blame herself. Her pain was so evident. It broke my heart more than I knew was possible. I took my hand from her back and put it on her cheek so she had no choice but to look at me.

"You listen to me. This was not your fault, do you understand? You did not lie to me, you kept strong to protect me, to protect everyone! There was no way you could have known that after all this man had done to you he was going to hurt someone else! None of this is on you! I love you so, so, so much, and i'm so-" My voice cracked as I cried and trembled. "So sorry that you thought you had to do this alone. So please, please. Let me do this for you."