I ___ you

New Years

It's New Years Eve and I'm getting ready for Henry's party. I pull on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. Jackson and I have been texted since the Addison situation but we haven't seen each other. I'm not mad at Addison because she hasn't been around much and probably didn't even know we are together. I blame myself. It's all my fault because I'm the one that declines him and made him so upset. None of it would have happened in it weren't for me.

When I get to the party with Anika I see Jackson and walk over after saying hi to people.

"Hey grace" he says as he awkwardly stands there. I greet him and awkwardly stand about three feet away from him.

Harry comes up to me and without saying anything takes me by my elbow guiding me towards the guest room. I follow and ask what's wrong.

"That's what I want to know. What's going on with you two?"

"Jackson slept with Addison" I blurt and continue, "but it was all my fault because I wouldn't sleep with him when he tried"

"What do you mean 'when he tried', did he try to fuck you without asking!?"

"Kinda" I reply since I hadn't thought about that before.

"It is in no way your fault Grace. I'm sorry that he did something like that to you"

"It's fine" I reply.

"No it's not," he says, "you deserve better". He pulls me into a tight hug and I linger a little too long and release.

When we get back to the party Jackson slings his arm around me and I get a little squeamish. Harry looks at me and gives me a sympathetic smile that looks almost.... sad? I don't really know but I need to focus on one problem at a time.

Jackson pulls me over to the bedroom and shuts the door. He comes up and kisses me but I shove him off. "WHAT THE HELL JACKSON" I yell. He doesn't seem to hear me and he keeps trying to kiss me as I try to pull away. I thought he was going to bring me in here to talk like reasonable people. He pushes me onto the bed and pins me down.

I'm so scared and I can't say anything because he has his hand over my mouth. I pull it away. "Please stop I don't want to do this" I beg. He doesn't listen and proceeds to pull a foil packet out of his pocket and undo his belt. I'm paralyzed as the weight of him on top of me his making it hard to breath. Before I know it I feel a sharp pain down there. It hurts and I try to keep breathing but then everything goes black.