'Just Friends'

I Wish That Was Me

Teams POV

"hey can I talk to you?" Team asked, Win looked shocked and confused, "Team I-I don't know right now.." Win bit his lip, Team was confused. That until he saw Junho behind Win with a pale face , "oh" the only word Team could bring himself to choke out. "Uhm I actually was just about to get going, so uhm yeah" Junho said before throwing on his shirt and sneaking past Team. He waited until Junho had left to speak, "I have no words for you" Teams eyes watered, he bit his lip and choked backed tears. Win couldn't believe what he was seeing, "Team are you kidding me? why do you care?" Win was in disbelief, "You slept with him?" Team cried, Win closed his eyes and sharply inhaled "oh my god.. you slept with him?!" Team cried out again, "like you didn't sleep with Reid!? but no Team I didn't." Wins anger finally reached the surface. "Because I didn't, we slept in the same bed, and nothing more happened, we didn't even kiss Win" Team tried his hardest to hold in tears, "I can't believe you slept with Junho.." Team couldn't handle the pain, "I didnt! God Team what is this whole seesaw act? first it's you telling me off and then wanting me all to yourself?!" Win yelled tears fell from his eyes, "Win I can't express how much I love you, everything about you is so goddamn perfect I can't even handle it, your smile is the one thing in the world that can make me feel safe, your touch is so warm and gentle that even the butterflies I get in my STOMACH! just from looking at you can't compare. So help me god I crave to touch you every day Win, I am so crazy about you but I knew I messed up and couldn't do anything about it so even to be able to look at you was the best thing in the world. So don't tell me how I! feel, because believe me I know how I feel." Win was frozen, "Team you don't think I've felt that same thing since day one? you don't think that I couldn't live without your laugh, you don't think it breaks me to sit here and watch you look so happy without me. Team it breaks me, it physically hurts me when you push me away, all I have wanted to do for days was kiss you, hold you, call you mine and give you everything, make you feel how I feel about you. But this.. god this is crazy. I have a boyfriend Team, and NOW! you tell me" Win cried, he spat out every word with anger and pure sadness. They both just sat their breathing heavy, each boy had tears spilling from their eyes, "Team we are constantly arguing, and I don't think you really know what you want yet" Win choked and cried, Team looked up at him confused, "So when you know you're ready.. then you can come to me, but I don't know how long it's gonna be until I'm the ready one. I don't think a relationship is meant for you and me Team, and believe me it hurts to say it" Team cut him off, "then why say it?!" he yelled and cried, "Because it's for the best that me and you just stick it out as friends" Win clenched his jaw and tried his best to hold back tears and contain his emotions. "No.. no please no" Team begged and pleaded, "I think you should go" Win said no longer crying, yelling. Team only nodded and opened the door, slamming it behind him. It's always something, it was always something that came between them, it was a battle of love and love, which is what made it so special yet so toxic, terrible but so intoxicating.  Maybe this was for the best, but not in Teams mind. He walked down the hallway and it felt like it just kept getting longer and longer, there was nothing good happening in his mind. The feeling to give up is stronger than anything, and Team had just given up on his universe, his world, and his true love all is one hit.

A Few Months Later 

Team sat there at the table studying, "Hey Team" Pharm sat next to him, "How are you holding up?" Pharm asked sincerely, "I'm doing good I guess.." Team shrugged. "When is the next time you're seeing Reid?" "A few weeks" Team said quietly, "So how are you guys? whats the deal?" "We haven't labeled anything, I don't know if we will" Team said carelessly. "Well the group will be here any second" Pharm smiled, soon enough everyone showed up sitting at the table, "So Team how is swim going?" Manow smiled, "Good, I think I'm gonna do something different and drop out though, not feeling it anymore." There was no emotion in his words, "what? no you can't just drop out your amazing!" Pharm said shocked. "It's just a stupid club" Team said, "Team are you sure you want this though, it's a big thing and I thought you loved swimming" Dean said sternly. "Yeah Team I don't think you're really thinking straight, you seem stressed" Win said concerned, "you guys I'm fine I'm just trying something different" "Listen I'm gonna go to the bathroom I'll be back" Team pursed his lips and left. He sighed while looking in the mirror, the bags under his eyes were unmistakable, he hadn't slept in days, and the nightmares kept coming. The bathroom door opened, Win walked in and closed it behind him, "Hey, Team you're not really thinking of dropping out right?" "I don't know. It doesn't sound that crazy to me" "Team this isn't you, I can tell you haven't been sleeping" Win said, "Oh I can tell you have" Team scoffed "We're still doing this? Team I thought we put this past us" Win pressed his hands against his face. "You think I can forget seeing Junho in your room.. that late?" Team said, "I know it isn't something you expected to see nor wanted to see but it happened Team and it's normal that it did" Win shook his head, "I know it's normal Win, but god.. why be with Junho? do you love him?" Team questioned, "Team can you please not do this, we did it ok? I'm not gonna be sorry" Win said before walking away. Team walked out and sat down at the table with the rest of the group, "I'm doing it I'm dropping out" Team decided quickly, staring straight at Win and smiling. Win growled lowly, "Uhm alright if that really is what you want Team" Dean said, "thanks for understanding" Team sighed feeling accomplished. "we should get going class is gonna start soon and I wanna take you somewhere" Dean smiled at Pharm, they packed their things and said bye. "Their so sweet together ugh my heart" Manow teased and giggled, "Oh we should get going too we're gonna be late for something" Junho laughed while taking Win by the arm. "Ugh gross" Team said, "what's gross?" Manow looked confused at Team "Nothing.." Team rolled his eyes. "Whaaatt!" Manow said loudly "tell me!" she said as she smacked the boy around playfully. "I went over to Win's to talk to him about something and instead got a big picture of Junho in his house.. Win told me he almost never lets anyone visit, I think they did something" Team told Manow, "why are you upset about that though?? I'm ecstatic" She laughed evily, "who says I'm upset about it" Team coughed and awkwardly laughed. "oh the rolling your eyes? the scoffing? yeah totally not upset" Manow laughed, "It's just I think it was way too soon, are they even officially dating?" Team raised his eyebrow. "Wait.. you're right they haven't even asked each other out yet Win calls him his boyfriend" Manow inhaled sharply, "you know what this means??" Manow asked. "What? that they're stupid?" Team laughed, "no! that you still have a chance" Team laughed and shoved her shoulder, "I'm over that, I haven't focused on that in months Manow" "Ugh yeah yeah, but it is only the truth" she shrugged before leaving the table. Team pondered in his thoughts only to get startled by Junho at the table, "Sorry" Junho laughed as he grabbed his bag, "it's fine" Team laughed. Team spotted marks on his lips, "That from Win?" He asked. "Oh, uhm yeah he's been affectionate, touchy" Junho laughed before leaving, "Oh believe me I know how touchy he gets" Team rolled his eyes before also leaving the table to go to his own classes.