the well

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you were walking outside when two suspicious men sneak up behind you. they punch you in the face, mug you, and throw your weak body into a well with no food, water, or communication. 

you were there for at least four hours when you hear a voice say "babygirl are you okay?" you look up and see matthew gray gubler shouting at you from the top of the well. behind him are two fuzzy cartoon characters. you convinced yourself you must be hallucinating from being down here for so long. they tell you they'll be right back to help you out. they rise into the sky with a powerful stream of diarrhea coming from their asses.

they come back with 20 feet of rope and attempt to pull you out. it took all three of them to pull you out since you ate two big macs earlier in the day. 

after they pull you out, matthew says "babygirl... you're so heavy get away from me you fat bitch." he pushes you back in the well and leaves.

you die in the well from the dysentery you caught from the celebrity.

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