a/n: i know luke has two brothers but lets just pretend he has one in this story thanks :)
warning:slight triggering
-Luke-
"Hey wait!"
I heard him yell after me. I didn't look back. I continued running, I ran out of the school. I didn't know where I was going, but it didn't matter. Questions filled my mind. Why did he defend? Why did he stand up for me? Why did I talk?
I stopped running after awhile, my body sore. I was out of breath. I looked up and saw where I was, the cemetery. I decided to go in, after all I ran all the way here. I walked in, going straight to their graves. I sat on the ground. I ran my hand over the stone.
"I miss you guys so much." I barely whispered, the tears started to fall and I did nothing to stop them from falling.
I was the reason for this, I was the reason why my parents were no longer living. Many of people have told me that I wasn't the reason but I knew I was.
*flashback*
"Luke we are going out, do you want to come with us?" My mother called out and asked.
"No thanks mom!" I yelled back in response.
It was silent for awhile and I assumed that they have left. There was a small knock at my door before it opened.
"You sure you don't want to come Luke?" I nodded.
"Okay, well your brother is staying home as well. I love you." She gave me a smile. Which I kindly returned.
"Okay, enjoy yourselves. I love you too."
She left my room, and I heard the car start outside. I watched them drive away. I didn't go because I thought they would like some alone time.
It was little over an hour after they went out I decided to text my mom. Maybe she would bring me home some food. I called my moms cell but there was no answer. I didn't really think anything of it, till later that night cops appeared at the door.
They told my brother and I that our parents were in a car crash. They were hit front on, killing them both instantly. They told us that my mother had her phone in her hand. That's when it hit me. She was trying to answer my call. I was the one that killed them.
"I killed them." The police officer looked at me. "No no no, the driver that hit them was drunk. He lost control of the car." He reassured me.
I ran up to my room, I was the reason my parents were dead. I knew I shouldn't have called.
*end flashback*
That was when everything went wrong in my life, it went downhill. I took a week off from school, and when I came back my friends ignored me. The school bullies decided I was their new target. That's when I stopped talking, I cut myself off from the rest of the world. I started listening to what they said and believed them. I started harming myself, I stopped eating. My brother made me go and see a therapist. They didn't help, they gave me this journal to write my feelings in. I stopped seeing them after that, but decided I would use the journal sometime....maybe.
My life became a living hell. It still was, always will be. Till the moment I take my last breath it will be hell.
I got up from my spot. "I love you guys, I'm sorry for everything."
I walked away from the grave. I promised myself that I wouldn't speak again, I had a slip up with that Ashton kid. Tugging at my hair, I walked home.
I entered my house and found it empty. Good. My brother was still at work. I checked the time and it was only six. I was sore and exhausted. I decided to just go to sleep. I got up to my room. Before I knew it I had my razor in my hand. I made a couple of cuts, tears falling from my eyes once again.
I cleaned everything up, hiding my razor. My brother rarely went in my room, but I couldn't take the chance. I pulled my shirt over my head and my eyes instantly met bruises. Tons of them. Some were starting to fade, there were new ones forming. I looked into the mirror, "What's wrong with you?" I said out loud. I mentally slapped myself. Two slip ups in one day, this isn't good. I threw on a hoodie and changed into sweats.
I walked over to my desk and opened a drawer. I grabbed my journal and flipped it open.
Janurary 19th,
I spoke today. I instantly regretted it. I haven't spoken in over a year. I accidentally said something to that Ashton kid. He defended me today, it was weird. Nobody has ever done that for me, maybe he cares....but I doubt it. -Luke
I heard a door open downstairs and I quickly but silently rushed over to my bed. I got under the covers, and pretended to sleep. I heard footsteps come up the stairs. I heard my door open.
"Luke?" My brother asked.
I stayed still. He turned on the light, I could feel his eyes on me. He let out a long breath and turned off my light. He closed my door. Sleep taking over my body a few minutes later.
