Because Of You

New Beginnings

       Today was going to be difficult. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared. Going back to school after everything that happened Is terrifying. I know that Conner will be coming back eventually. There is no way that Frank will let me stay in his class for the rest of the year. My daily beatings from Conner will continue when he gets back, and there is a good chance that they will be even worse. I hope he kills you.

"Em?" I looked up to see Leo staring at me. He looked concerned, but he still had a smile on his face.

"Yeah?" I could feel my cheeks warm up. I was without a doubt blushing.

"I said Frank is waiting for you." He spoke softly. A pink tint covered his cheeks. God is he cute.

Wait what am I thinking, I can't say that about him. I knew you were a fag.

"Cute?" Fuck did I really say that out loud. His face was as red as a tomato. I'm sure mine was as well. I scratched the back of my head and tried to avoid looking at him.

"Umm, so I think I need to go to school now." With that I grabbed my bag and rushed out of my room, nudging his shoulder in the process.

I stopped right in front of Mr.Lakes, almost bumping into him. "I'm ready to go." He smiled and opened the front door. I rushed to the car and got in.

Mr. Lakes got in a few seconds after me.

"Looks like someone's excited." He looked over at me and chuckled. My face was still warm, and I had a small smile on my face. He started the car and drove us to school. I let myself sink into the seat, closing my eyes. I wonder if he likes me. He was blushing, but he could have been embarrassed just like I was.

It didn't take long for us to get to school. I hopped out of the car, and stayed close to Mr.Lakes as we walked to his classroom.

"Where do you want me to sit?" I looked over to him, he took a seat at his desk.

"You can sit at the table right next to my desk." He pointed to a table that was pushed up against the side of his desk. I placed my backpack right next to the chair, and sat down. The bell rang for first hour. I watched as students flooded into the classroom. A few of Conner's friends shot me death glares before taking a seat a few tables away from me. I watched as they all whispered and pointed at me. I lost my focus on them, and watched Mr.Lakes as he spoke to the class.

"Alright everyone. I am going to give you guys time at the end of class to write in your journals. But before that, I want you to research something that you are interested in and then write about it. I need at least eight paragraphs by the end of class." He sat back down by his desk. The sounds of people talking filled the room. I took out a piece of paper and started writing. I didn't need to research my topic, because I already knew enough about it. My topic is about how animals communicate to people through their body language. It took me a little over half of the period to finish the eight paragraphs. I gave my paper to Mr.Lakes and then pulled out my journal.

I can't write about what happened between Leo and I this morning. Why not? Are you scared that he is going to abandon you? My father's voice said, full of sarcasm. But he was right. It was embarrassing, and he would definitely hate me for it.

I was able to eat this morning. I'm surprised that my stomach let me keep all of it down.

I'm scared that someone will start doing Conners work for him. He has so many friends here that I'm sure something will happen. It's not like I can hide in Frank's classroom for the rest of the year. I don't want to be a pain in the ass, just because I'm being a wimp. I will have to get over my fear. It's childish anyway.