In My Defense

Nearly 17

Chapter 21

"Call me when you get home?" I asked, leaning to talk to Ryan through the opened window of his car.

"Of course."

I smiled smally. "Bye."

"See you tomorrow, love."

I hugged my sides as I watched him drive away. I walked stiffly to the front door of my house, fumbling with my keys. The door swung open before my fingers, numb from the cold, were able to find the right one.

"Hey, Rae." Frank wrapped one arm around me in a side hug.

"Hi, Dad." I was glad things were getting better between us. I mean, it was still awkward in some ways, but the change wasn't unpleasant.

"Cherry and I went to the doctor's today..." he began.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. We're having a girl."

A genuine grin stretched across my face. "Really? Do you have any names picked out?"

"Taylor Raelynn Dwyer."

"She'll have my name?" Wow.

He shrugged. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not!"

He smiled. "Dinner's in the fridge, if you're hungry."

I started for the stairs. "I already ate," I called over my shoulder.

As soon as I shut my door, my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I answered with checking the caller ID.

"Hey."

"You can probably guess what tomorrow is, I'm sure?" Ryan asked, his voice muffled as if he were holding the phone between his cheek and shoulder.

"Uh, Saturday?"

He sighed, obviously exasperated. "You're joking, right?"

I ran my fingers absentmindedly along the swirling white patterns of my walls. "I don't think so?"

"Jesus Chr- Do you know the day?"

"Friday," I stated.

"Yes. November 30th."

"Correct," I answered.

"Do I need to spell it out?"

I didn't answer, racking my brain for important dates.

"Oh my god! It's your birthday!"

My cheeks flared. "Oh! Jeez, I forgot."

"You're absolutely unbelievable."

"Oops."

"So what does the birthday girl want to do tomorrow?"

I shrugged to myself. "I dunno. Don't really care either, to be honest."

I could almost hear him rolling his eyes. "Ugh. Fine. I have something planned anyway."

I groaned. "Please, nothing too flashy."

"Don't worry, it's a hand-me-down."

I narrowed my eyes. "Okay..."

He paused. "You've got a license?"

"Um, yeah."

"You've gotta let me see it."

"No way in hell."

He chuckled. "I've got my way around, Dwyer."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"See you in the morning."

"Sure thing." The line went dead.

I sighed heavily, falling back on my mattress. I had no idea what to expect tomorrow. After my mother died, birthdays or any other yearly event wasn't really celebrated. We fell out of the rhythm of things and my dad was usually too incoherent to even remember the date. I didn't get presents or cake or a birthday wish. I couldn't even remember if I liked getting present.

I wondered briefly if Frank would remember. It bugged me more than it should have, I suppose. But after years of not doing anything special for me, would he finally do something as wishing happy birthday? I had no idea.

Then there was the fact that Ryan would be gone in two short weeks. He'd said he had a plan, but honestly. The best I could imagine was him running away, and he wasn't one to do that. He's much too headstrong to run away from anything. We're so different; he's bold and daring, I'm shy and awkward.

Sighing heavily once again, I got up and turned on my radio and popped in a CD. I didn't pay attention much to the lyrics or complex drum patterns like I usually did. My mind was far off.

I was mostly thinking ahead, thinking about two weeks from now. It'd only be a few days until Christmas break so I figured I'd be able to manage being alone at school again. Hopefully we'd get an over-break assignment to keep me busy.

Then there was the communication dilemma. Of course Ryan would call, but what about time zones? That was sure to effect us in one way or another. We'd have to talk about that soon.

Lamely, I realized how extremely bored I would be once he was gone. I didn't have much of a life before him. How pathetic. The closest thing I had to a friend was Clyde and we hadn't talked in a while. I made a mental note to call him first thing in the morning.

I hadn't realized that the CD had stopped playing music and turned into an almost inaudible hum as it continued to spin in the tray.

With a grunt, I heaved myself from my bed and trudged down the stairs. I ran my hand along the walk searching for the switch. I found it, and blinked into the light.

I walked to the medicine cabinet without lifting my feet. I took out the bottle of Benadryl, popped the lid, and swallowed two pills dry.

Before going back upstairs, I checked the tome on the oven clock. 11:52PM. Jeez. I'd spent nearly four hours staring at my ceiling. Then I smiled to myself, suddenly remembering that my 17th birthday was in eight minutes.

I climbed the steps taking them two at a time. When I reached my room, I sat on my bed, and stared at my phone on the dresser just as I had for the past three years. My phone lit up with a text from Clyde: Happy birthday sun fairy!!

I giggled and replied with a thank you.

I put my phone down, and then fell back against my pillow, hitting my head against the bed frame.

"Fuuuck," I whispered in agony.

I was still cursing to myself when my phone lit up and buzzed on my dresser. It was Ryan calling.

I sat up. "Hello?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" He shouted.

Giggling, I held the phone away from my ear and said, "Thank you, Ryan."

"Okay. Now get some sleep. You've got a big day ahead of you."

"I will. I love you."

"I know."

I rolled my eyes. "See you tomorrow, asshat."

"You too, fart-face."

The line went dead and I fell back against my bed again, careful to avoid hitting my head again. Needless to say, I was excited for what the next few hours held.

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OH MY GPD I DID IT I ACTUALLY UPDATED IT ONLY TOOK ME LIKE SIX MONTHS BU T. OH WLELL HAHDHSHS

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