𝗠𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗢𝗨𝗦: kth & jjk collection

↳ part two

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𝒋𝒆𝒐𝒏 𝒋𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌:

i saw you at the library today.

you were still the most beautiful human being to ever exist, in my opinion.

yet you looked so broken.

i could see the lingering emotion in the shadow of your eyes. i could see that you were hurt through the way you looked longingly in my direction.

we made eye contact.

i had to look away; i had to distract myself from you. so i kissed her.

i hate myself for making you this way.

i try to drown my thoughts of you with countless hookups, girls who don't even care about my well being and are just scared to be lonely.

but none of them are as beautiful, as precious as you.

no one has ever loved me like you did. you were my light, leading me to safety through even my darkest nights.
you showed me what love meant. you showed me what happiness felt like.

i don't deserve someone as beautiful and bright as you.

but i am nothing without you.

i wanted to move on. but the pain is endless. i just miss you so much.

i'm so pathetic.

here i am, making out with some random disgusting hoe in the damn library. i don't even like her. i can't bring myself to like anyone anymore, not after you.

i can't even like myself anymore.

maybe you noticed that i'm wearing the jean jacket i used to lend you. i took it back the day we left each other.

i wonder if you know just how much i miss you.

i bury my face in this jacket at night to help me fall asleep, because only your scent can lure me to sleep.

but day after day, the smell of you that lingered in my room has been fading away.

i miss you.

i couldn't stand the suffocating smell of her perfume anymore. so i pushed her off my lap.

"sorry, i can't do this." i ignored her high pitched whines.

i was too upset to cry. my anger, at myself and the world, blinded my sight; all i could see was red red red.

and then i bumped into you. i couldn't let you know how broken and pathetic i was without you.

so i took out my anger on you. like i used to back then.

why couldn't i change? for you? for us?

maybe some things can never change, no matter how hard we try.

you should hate me. you should. forget about me. throw your feelings for me in a dark basement and lock them up. and never open the door again.

because you deserve someone better. someone who can give you their all. someone who is willing, and able, to change. for you.

i'm sorry, tae. that i couldn't be that someone.

i still love you. and i miss you.
but we were bound to fall apart.

so we have to let go.

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🗒 ❛ author's note: ༉‧₊˚✧
╰┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
𝒊'𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒆𝒉𝒆 :) 𝒊 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒏 ! 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕  (𝒂 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆!) 𝒉𝒆𝒋𝒆𝒋𝒔.

407 words.