Beautiful Mistake

Chapter 39 - A New Elena

Elena's POV

A week later, Mamma and I walked into the house after a grueling day. I went straight to the kitchen, grabbing myself a glass of water. I could hear Mamma's footsteps as she followed behind me.

"Baby, are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'm alright, Mamma. I just need to process everything. I'm also exhausted, that's all." I reassured her.

"If you say so, Baby. I'll send Sierra a text to come fetch you. You need to go rest." She informed me. I nodded my head just before she left the kitchen.

I made my way onto the deck, grabbing a deck chair and dragging it towards the poolside railing where the best view of the ocean was situated. Rogue, my Labradoodle, padded her way behind me, settling beside my chair with her head upon my foot. I remained there in the cool breeze, completely unaware of the duration of time I spent outside. I received a slight idea when I noticed Sierra placing a chair beside me before sitting in it. She leaned back into the chair, making herself comfortable while placing her feet on one of the railings for support.

"Are you alright, Elle?" She asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded slowly. She settled in the silence, leaving the line of communication open for me to use at my own pace. I shifted back into my chair, anxiously fiddling with the hem of my shirt. Rogue stood, edging closer to me before setting her head upon my thigh. She instantly noticed my anxious demeanor and reacted in an attempt to soothe me. I scratched the top of her head, a small smile appearing upon my lips.

"I had the doctor's appointment today, as you know." I began to which she replied with a soothing hum of understanding.

"Well, I learned some things that, at first, didn't really bother me, but, I guess, the more the news sunk in the more my anxiety began coming in to teach that attitude a lesson." I chuckled unamusedly.

"I fucked up, Sisi. I made extremely poor choices to make a temporary person happy that could cost me a lot in the future as well as cost me the happiness of a permanent person." I regretfully sighed.

"I had an ultrasound done to view my internal organs, as well as blood tests to measure the levels of my hormones. It was confirmed that I have something called secondary amenorrhea which is basically the loss of my menstrual cycle as a result of the disorder. I haven't been ovulating and, besides this, some of my other organs are struggling." I lamented, now running my fingers through the end strands of my hair.

"The doctor made it clear that even after I recover from this mess I've placed myself in, I might suffer from fertility issues in the future. He mentioned I could struggle to conceive one day which, at the time, I simply shrugged it off. It wasn't like I had anything or anyone to look forward to having that life with, but now that I'm home and the reality of his words has sunken in..." I trailed off, peering out at the horizon.

"You're realizing that even if you don't have someone now, it's a possibility that someone might come along," Sierra spoke softly with her eyes piercing through me.

"And they are unaware of the damaged world they might enter. I fucked up, Sisi." A stray tear fell down my cheek, thankfully, away from Sierra's sight. I let it slide down my face, dripping off my jaw and into my clothes.

"Elle, we all have obstacles in relationships. It comes down to how much a person loves you. You're supposed to travel those storms together since you have the same goal in sight. If your significant other isn't able to travel that path with you and gives up the instant a problem arises, then they're not your ride or die. They're not your 'till death do us part' person, either." She stated.