“A-Andrius m-masakit” Nang hihinang sabi ko habang sinusubukang makawala sa mahigpit nyang pagkakasabunot sa buhok ko.
“Talagang masasaktan ka” He said angrily and slap me hard making me faced sideways. I tried my very best to stopped my tears but it didn't work.
“What?! You're gonna cry huh?!” He slapped me again, napahagulgul na ako sa iyak habang naka hawak sa kamay nyang naka sabunot sa buhok ko.
“T-tama na p-please” I begged while crying and holding his wrist to stopped his hand from gripping to my hair.
“P-please” I begged again, If I have to kneel, then I'll kneel just so he would stop hurting me.
“Fuck!” He cursed loudly then he let go of my hair harshly na naging dahilan para mapaupo ako sa sahig.
“Isang beses pa na malaman kung ipinag kakalat mo na asawa kita I swear I will locked you inside your room for a week without food” He threatened tatalikod na sana sya ngunit agad na napatigil nang mag salita ako
“B-because it's true, y-you're my husband” I said lowly afraid that he might burst into anger again. I heard his dark chuckled.
“In papers, Pakisaksak sa kukuti mo na kasal lang tayo sa papel pero kahit kailan hindi kita ituturing na asawa.” I sob painfully as I watched him disappear from my sight.
I bite my lower lip then stood straight as I slowly went upstairs. Nang makadating sa itaas ay agad kung ginamot ang pasa sa gilid nang labi ko. I look at myself in front of my mirror, I look sad, and hurt but I can't find any reasonable reason for me to left my husband alone.
Martyr right? What can I do, I love him even though he doesn't love me back.
Umalis ako sa harap nang salamin para umupo sa aking kama. Agad kung pinalibot ang aking paningin ngunit napahinto ako nang makita ang wedding picture namin.
Simple lang ang kasal namin hindi magardo, hindi matao. Ang pamilya at kaibigan lang namin ni Andrius ang bisita hindi sila nag imbeta nang ibang tao sa pagkat ayaw ni Andrius na ipagkalat na may asawa na sya.
I smiled sadly habang hinahaplos ang larawan naming dalawa. I'm smiling happily in front of the camera while Andrius, he's just looking straight to the camera as if it's his enemy.
I sigh remembering the day when I went with him in this house, napilit lamang din sya na dito ako patirahin dahil sabi nga nang mga magulang namin kasal na kami kaya dapat sa isang bubung na kami tumira kaya napilitan syang palipatin ako dito.
When I arrived at this house I still remember that I imagine a happy life with him, Like I'm all smiles giving a simple thanks to God that finally I can have my own family but I was wrong.
As I enter this house all my expectations and imagination vanished, Andrius, he doesn't like me, he despise me he loathe me and I get it, it's because I took his freedom away
But what can I do? I'm a victim too, I never wished to be married to someone who can't love me back. I admit I love Andrius but I don't want to settle in a one sided love. The only thing that's stopping me on signing that divorce paper is my right as his wife. Even though he never threats me as his wife, maybe when time comes he will give me a chance to be his wife, not just in paper but also in real life.
Pinunasan ko ang luha ko, I was about to sleep when I forgot na hindi pa pala ako nakakapag dasal kaya dali dali akong umupo sa kama at pumikit para mag dasal.
“Lord, I may not be your strongest soldier but lord would you mind guiding me? Help me to become stronger in each day, help me wipe all those hurtful feelings away, because I know time will come that this soldier of yours would end up giving up but please lord when that time already come, please guide him, guide my husband, please I'm begging you guide him in his everyday life make him safe everyday and please forgive him for hurting your soldier it's just that your soldier took away his freedom.In jesus name this is all I pray Amen.”
Pagkatapos kung mag dasal ay agad akong humiga para makatulog na. As I look at my ceiling I can't help but to imagine a scenario in my mind in which my husband Andrius and I are in love with each other and having our own family.
Ano kayang nararamdaman nang mga babaeng asawa kapag alam nilang mahal sila nang asawa nila? Sana kahit saglit lang maranasan ko ding mahalin nya kahit isang minuto lang, gusto kung maranasan kung paano sya mapapasaya. Alam kung mas malabo payan sa pag hawak nang bahaghari pero wala naman sigurong masaya kung mangangarap diba? Sabi nga nila dream big so why won't you dream something na kahit walang kasiguruhan at least sinubukan diba?
Nang makaramdam ako nang antok ay pinikit ko na agad ang aking mata. I was drifting off my dreamland, hindi ko alam kung panaginip ko ba iyun pero para akong may naramdaman na humimas sa pesngi ko bago ako kinain nang antok.
A/N; Major Editing ahead lol.
BINABASA MO ANG
THE BATTERED WIFE
RomanceAndrea is a one of a kind, she's pretty, adorable, sweet, and a loving person. For her love is a magical word that can gave you butterflies in the stomach, can make you happy all the time, can treat you like a majesty. But unfortunately because of t...
