Waiting For You

Chapter 1

     I am now 23 years old.
  I later lost my mother to heart attack that couldn't be treated some years after my father's death. I wasn't as close to her but her death hurt me... it hurt me a whole lot and I wish I had a better relationship with her before she died. I always felt like she wasn't happy with me wherever she was and that always made me feel so guilty. The few times I went to visit her at the hospital, she couldn't even see me because she was in coma.
I still remember how broken I was when the doctor announced her death to me.
My mother was a fighter but she couldn't fight this one.
I could always tell how much pain she was going through by just looking at her. Trying to have a better relationship with me and also trying to get through her own pain and I never even appreciated that.
   I was living my life on the outside but inside of me was filled with so much pain and guilt. What type of person would treat a mother like that?
    I didn't go to the best school in town but I was a very bright student despite my situation and I always excelled in school. Christian was always so proud of me. Well.. my mother was proud too. .
   I was able to sort out my university funds through the help of my mother's little struggles and little help she could get from relatives that cared enough. I always wondered why she never hated me until her death despite the pain I caused her but I could only learn to get over the guilt and constantly ask God for forgiveness as days went by.. hopefully, she looks down from heaven and forgive me one day and God shows her a breakdown of what I was going through myself...
Gradually, I learnt to get over the pain and also forgive myself because that was the only way I could live life without a heavy heart.

                               *****
   "23 years old and still jobless, Martha." I said to myself as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I take a deep breath and raise my head slowly in a dramatic manner, smiling for the first time in a long while. Dark circles slowly fading away and my skin slowly regaining its glow.
Well, I guess that's why we are moving to the city today. Yesss! I jump from excitement. I knew I had that dramatic side of me deep down somewhere I thought to myself..
   Going somewhere, Martha? I hear Christian's voice behind me. I froze and turn back but saw nobody there.
   Chri.. Christian.. hi.. I.. uhm.. I say looking around the bathroom for him.
Don't explain anything Martha! He snaps at me before I complete my statement which made me freeze again.
I already know everything about you without you telling me, he says.
You really want to leave me and live differently because of a mere fight?
Well yes, Christian and I had an argument when I told him about moving to the city to have a life of my own.
I respected Christian enough to tell him I was moving to the City but Christian wasn't happy for me. He said I would have a life without him but we grew up together. We did everything together, I was betraying him.
     Christian cried like a cat, yes, that's exactly how  he sounded, He said "Don't leave me Martha". I was so scared.
  We had our back and forth at the beach he usually takes me to and I walked away even after he called my name repeatedly.
"Don't make me do something I would regret love". I still remember his words from that day.
I wonder what he meant by that.
I never saw him again after that day and I thought I was finally free.
    Days went, weeks went by, I didn't have any vision or any dream or any conversation with Christian, so I decided to move to the city.
Well.. here we are now.. again.
Christian, please let me explain. I look around the room, still trying to search for where his voice was coming from and my heart jumped when I heard him say behind me and turned to him.
How did I not see him there before?
What do you want to say that's going to make sense, Martha?
He gets up and comes close to me, arranging my hair to the back of ear and rubbing on my shoulder with his other hand.
I'm listening..
I just felt it would be best for me to go to the "City to have a life".. he says along with me.
Right, Martha?
I'hv heard that a thousand times love. He says rolling his eyes. Christian was actually one beautiful man. Exceptionally and unexplainably beautiful. Yes, I know beautiful is not exactly the right word for men but there was something about him I just couldn't place. Like.. where he came from? What is even going on here? Who is this man? Why didn't I know what this was and never really thought about it all these while? There was also something about his voice. So gentle, so meek, so calm, so inviting.
Sounds like moving waters.. I just could never explain. He had weird but nice looking Grey eyes and caramel skin colour. Well, sadly, I was never attracted or in love. I just saw him as.. my other half?
Look Christian, I say to him. You really have to let me go. This is what's best for me. I really enjoyed your company but it's time for us to go our separate ways.
Nonsense! He snaps at me again. What are you even talking about? You have no life without me and I am going to prove that to you! He snaps at me again with his mood obviously getting bad.
Look around you Martha! The world is nothing. The world is one empty and cruel place that is going to take away everything from you. I am really all you got. He says this time with a creepy smile.
I couldn't understand why his mood always switched so fast.
Think about this. Think about us. He says looking deep into my eyes and all I could see was obsession. I slowly take his hand down from my chin and without saying word, I walked away from the bathroom and slammed the door feeling so scared and numb.
What the hell was that? I kept thinking to myself.
I'll be back Martha, this is not the end. I hear him say from the bathroom.

                              *****
Hope you're enjoying the story?☺️