love like you // a tsukkiyama songfic.

i always thought i might be bad, //

we went to visit tsukki on wednesday. i wiped my clammy hands on my pants as my mom rang the doorbell.

today was the day that we were announcing our relationship as well as the day that i'm. . . coming out.

tsukki was brave. as soon as he realized he wasn't straight, he went for it with telling his family- and it paid off.

i admired him for that. . . no matter how much i wanted to, i could never be like him. never be as special, never as worth it.

tsukishima was the one that opened the door, greeting us with a dazzling smile that made me want to kiss him right then. i was  surprised at how much he had recovered; he looked much better than yesterday. healthy, even.

"tadashi, mrs. yamaguchi," he nodded, stepping aside to let us enter. he discreetly pecked my nose as my mom went to meet his in the kitchen.

"ready to tell her?" he said. i exhaled shortly and sharply, hugging him. i needed his comfort; thankfully, his arms went behind me and he pulled me closer, although the gesture ended too soon.

"not really. just want to get it over with, to be honest." tsukki nodded understandingly.

"i'm sure it'll be fine," he said.

but somehow, i still had a very bad feeling.

i've always wondered if it was bad of me to love him.

---

the five of us sat down to eat dinner together. i was sitting with my mother on the right and tsukki on my left, his own mother and akiteru across from me.

"itadakimasu," we all said before digging in.

the food was delicious, but something didn't sit well with me. once we'd all finished, i'd have to tell her.

that moment came sooner than i'd have liked, with tsukki standing and pulling me up too. "we actually have something to tell you, mrs. yamaguchi," he said.

my heartbeat suddenly increased as my mom looked up from her food and turned her attention towards the two of us. my eyes met tsukki's mother's, and she nodded slightly.

tsukishima looked at me, as if telling me to say something.

"i. . ." all of them watched me expectantly. "i'm. . . ma, i'm bisexual," i finally said, staring at the ground as my cheeks flooded with color.

she didn't respond. i finally forced myself to look up again. her face flashed a series of emotions. . . none of them good.

"what."

i felt a lump starting to form in my throat. "and kei and i are dating."

at that, she stood up, nearly knocking over the table over if not for akiteru steadying it. "it's just a phase. i know that you only like females." 

i should've seen it coming.

"no. no it isn't." it was tsukki that spoke up. "you have to understand that tadashi is not going through something that will just change in a matter of time."

"kei-" but he put up his hand to silence me.

"it's fine if it makes you uncomfortable- hell, you don't even have to support it- but that it your fucking son. you should love him no matter what."

"language," tsukki's mother said quietly, but it wasn't really an attempt to stop him.

"i will absolutely not listen to a mere boy, especially a homosexual one." she said the word with so much disgust that it felt like a stab to the heart.

"i'm pansexual." he said it with the same poker face that he had maintained this entire time. i would've laughed, if not for the situation.

"no matter. you're still not normal."

"okay, i think that's enough," akiteru said. his expression was hard.

"yes, i think so too." that was my mom. i felt like crying, but i refused to let the tears spill out. she was the only family i had left. . . and i'd probably lost her. for good. "and you. you can pack up your things, but don't even think about stepping foot inside my house again. your nothing to me, absolutely worthless."