What The Alpha Says...Goes (boyxboy) Bk 1

Chapter 11: Shattered glass and crazy hearts

A/N: I was a bit nervous when posting this chapter because I know how you guys are gonna feel :( ... *sniff sniff*

Chapter 11

~Carson’s POV~

That was it, the trial was done, the verdict had been announced and the punishment would be meted out. I looked around the room at the mess I’d made of it; broken glass, books and vases strewn about.

Furniture over-turned, picture frames shattered, paintings smashed. I never been so angry before, not when my father mocked me and abused me, not when I’d gotten into fights at school because some asshole had chosen to step to me and certainly not when I’d been cheated out of my coming-of-age hunt.

Never had I felt this intense urge to just rip something or someone apart and if I could get my hand over Jessop’s pale scrawny neck I’d squeeze until I couldn’t feel a thing. This was his fault, he’d riled up the pack, he’d made them angry enough to call for Laken’s punishment.

Laken

My mate…

My lover…

My love…

He would be punished for his ‘crimes’ in less than  half an hour and I’d be the one to hand it out.

I was pissed that he’d disobeyed me after I hand practically begged him not to, I was pissed because Jessop had thought to use him to get to me, I was pissed that the pack was bloodthirsty enough to call for this kind of discipline on a child, but most of all I was angry at myself for not trying hard enough to prevent this outcome.

Maybe if I’d stressed the importance of him not going into the forest more, maybe if I had forgone that damn meeting I’d had and stayed with him yesterday then he wouldn’t be in this position. Maybe… but maybes wouldn’t get us anywhere. Maybe’s couldn’t change the past.

“Damnit!” I slammed my fist into the wall for the third time since I’d left the trial, it left another crack to match the one from earlier. Feeling weighted down by the strain of what I was to do today I rested my head on the wall’s cracked surface and allowed my mind to drift back to last night, to the look on his face when the pack members called for his punishment, he’d looked so stricken, so lost, so terrified and I hadn’t been able to comfort him.

I was dragged from my thoughts when I felt the tears spill, cascading down my cheeks. I touched my face, shocked at the clear liquid on my finger tips. I never cried. Never, but at the moment I felt as if I could just curl up in a ball and let out a good long howl, just find some way to empty my soul of  all the pain I was feeling inside.

I hadn’t seen him since the trial a few hours ago, where, after receiving no reason from him as to why he had gone into the forest, the votes had been cast and he was sentenced to ‘string 2’ found in the pack code laws. The laws stated that upon first offence of a crime committed by a minor, said offender was subject to the ‘string 2’ violation penalty.

It included harsh punishments for putting one’s pack in danger without just cause and severe penalties for disobeying an Alpha’s rule. After much debate and negotiation on my part, the council had agreed to reduce the punishment. That was all I could do for him.

I’d lain awake all night trying to find a way out of this, I could order that he not be put on trial, we could leave the pack, I could step down as Alpha, I could kill Jessop. So many things had gone through my mind but all had been quashed.

If I left the pack Jessop would take control and no Alpha in his right mind would leave his pack in the hands of a monster. Killing Jessop would be heartless since technically he had down nothing wrong. If I pulled Laken off trial the pack would question it and I would be undermined. There was just nothing I could do. It was the first time I’d ever felt so utterly hopeless.