Spritual Series ♥

♥ Spiritual Series Part : 01 ♥

"If shaitan has entered into your heart- Evil will look beautiful to you and good will seem tiring and exhausting."
                                   ~ Nouman Ali Khan.

The liquid sparkled inside the square shaped glass I was holding and staring it for a minute.Tonight was fun. I was sitting at the corner of the club, shadowed from bright disco light. My pals were enjoying,grinding into each other on the dance floor.But I felt tired. Not knowing, physically  or mentally.

I hate this feeling because I just could not find what's causing it. I was admired among my peers about my dressing sense, looks and personality , I was successful and  popular among men too .My life was perfect! I was supposed to be the happiest girl in the universe. Yet sometimes a part of me felt missing.

"What a pretty lady like you, sitting here alone? Let me buy you a drink." A guy slurred at me.

"I don't drink!" I said, my mind jumbled up in my thoughts .

"Why, dearest?" He asked in a husky voice. I hate these type of men. Always lingering around beautiful women!

Ignoring his question, I stood up and left the club without thinking about my friends.

I wanted some space. A space from bright lights and defeaning sound of DJs.

The chilly december air burned through my nostrils as I walked on the footpath, unaware of my destiny. It had started to snow, now. Everybody around me was running here and there to find shelter.

As I opened the glass door to a nearby cafe, warmth and the smell of freshly brewed coffee engulfed me. Inside, it was crowded as people tried to find shelter from the cold.

Taking a seat near the window, I found myself looking at the glittering snowflakes dancing on the glass windows. There were excited chatter around me. Some kind of celebrity was present in the cafe, as people hurdled together to meet the person. I couldn't see who, but people seem too overjoyed for someone to be local.

I couldn't bring myself to care, the chatter felt distant. I felt sad, alone, empty.
I tried to reflect on myself. What do  want? Should I find a relationship.? I quickly dismissed the thought. I had too many bad experiences to count, relationship wasn't the way

"Asslamualikum!! "
"salam"
"salam."

Greetings of salam brought my attention back to my surroundings. Was the celebrity Muslim? Who can it be??

I stood up, trying to catch a glimpse.
People were laughing time to time .
As they said SubhanAllah in chorus, I got confused yet curious.

I went there making my way through the crowd. My eyes felt frozen as I looked at the person. Everything around me become silent. I couldnt believe my eyes!

It was Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan.

My mouth fell open. He was smiling and talking to everyone. He said something which generated a round of laughter in the cafeteria.

I felt a pang in my chest as memories flooded my vision of my past self. I used to listen his videos on hours at end. How much I wanted to attend his web seminars. It was a dream to meet him!

Today, he was in front of my eyes. But as I sensed what I was wearing and where I was  a moment ago. I stepped back.

There was a time in my life when all was different. It wasn't how things were now. I felt guiltyness overwhelm me. Today my reality is something else.

I slowly chose a different path never even realizing it. But today I felt ashamed and guilty. I ran away as I couldn't bring myself to stand there anymore. Tears escaped my eyes.

I couldn't face him. I was impure to face such a pure personality.

I ran on the footpath as tears blurred my vision. I couldn't see as everything went blurry, eventually I tripped somehow and fell hard.

"Hey ?! you Okay there? " some girls try to hold me up. I nodded.

"No problem. come inside, the weather is not good".

They helped me inside a some kind of office.They offered me water with a pleasing smile. I admire the way they were dressed up in hijab. I felt different from them in my shorts, feeling impure again.

"you Okay sister?" they asked genuinely. I tried really hard  to smile at them but tears started to fall down my cheeks again.

"Oh My God, sweety!!" They become worried.

"Nothing. . .Thanks. . .I'm. I'm alright!" I forced a smiled. Of course failing to convince them.

I looked around the office to avoid there sympathetic eyes. There were pictures of Kaaba and madina, an Arabic calligraphy hung on the wall.

Al-hajj foundation.

I narrowed my eyes at the board. "Al-hajj foundation" I read aloud.

"Yes, we arrange trip every year, with discount .You seem new here". They proudly said.

"My name is Hana Ismael" I said.
They beamed with joy. "Dear please consider it. The umrah trip has been planned this week." They gave me some pamphlets and cards. I hesitantly took it.

After a ton of selfies, we were back at the car. My friends couldn't stop telling how much they had fun in the club tonight, calling on men they danced with. Some were wiping there heavy makeups.

I was in a different world altogether. Suddenly everything felt changed. Same friends I used to hang out with, I wanted to leave them all. I felt suffocated to be a part of them.

Sleep didn't came that night as I tossed and turned on my bed. My mind playing flashbacks of the cafe. The presence of ustadh Nouman.

He was there, right in front of me. And I  couldn't even say salaam to him.

One thing I knew from my heart I couldn't do this, anymore. I am not this girl what I pretended to be, to show the world. I should leave all this mess. Free of fame and hypocrisy, freedom from slavery of the fashion world. I wanted to be free in true meanings. I knew I have to start over again. 

I took the pamphlets. Many houghts circled my mind as I hold the card in my hand. Starting my laptop, I opened the webpage and typed my information. I revised everything before pressing the submit button. Taking a deep breath I clicked on it.

"Hana Ismael your registration for umrah has been successful."

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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