Everyone's avoiding me.
They treat me like a plague.
I watch, every recess, as my classmates gather in groups, laughing and tittering. While I, the lone wolf of the pack, hides away in the toilet, slowly chewing my food. I tried, I really did, but all of them just sneered and mocked me for my pitiful efforts. I'm so jealous. Of their looks, their eloquence, and their ability to make people laugh. While me, I don't make people laugh, I am the cause of their laughter.
I mean, I can see why, my life is a joke.
In the privacy of the toilet, I finally allow myself to cry. To let go of that was holding me back. I quietly release all the insecurities, all the negative emotions and turn myself into the blubbering mess that I truly am.
My family, my parents? They are the most oblivious of all. They just want me to score high, do well in my studies. My health and wellbeing? Not their business. As long as I get top in the school, no, country, they would just nod, giving me barely any notice as they turned the pages of the newspaper. And if I scored any lower than that? Well, let's not mention that.
My only true friends are my books. I join every character, feel their heartbreak, their misery and celebrate their successes. People call me a nerd, a freak, a loser. And I agree with them. I have no good qualities. My face is always swollen and read from all the crying, I have no reason to exercise, and, according to my parents, 'you are a disgrace to the family and the worst child a parent could ever ask for'.
Parents are supposed to live their children, to be there for them, to comfort them when they're down and to encourage them. My parents, however, are the opposite. It's times like this that I wish I had a friend. Someone to talk to, to laugh with, to tease and simply just to be myself. I want to be like other people, to have someone to giggle, gossip and share my personal life with.
However, it is also times like this I get brutally reminded.
No one would want to be burdened with me.
No one would want my demons.
No one would want damaged goods.
This, is why I stay away.
