Their expectations were suffocating me, chocking me, strangling me. Their gazes trapping me, keeping me frozen in place, unable to run. My life made up of good grades, perfect scores and being a good example, a good leader. But, I am not a perfect child. I am not a good role model. Everything was forced onto me. 'Don't do this...Don't do that...' My life is basically made up of rules, restraints and chains. I must not be lazy. I must not slack. All this for my family's reputation. The way they judge me everyday... The way their expecting gazes met mine every award ceremony... I would not be a disgrace. I will uphold my family's honor. All the pressure... All that stress... No one cares. All they see is this person, trying so hard to be perfect. Externally, I was a Barbie doll, a puppet, doing everything they want. But internally, I was a wreck. I had no one to talk to, no one to confide in... Everyone was either intimidated or jealous of the 'perfect girl'. I don't get it. Why would they want to be me? I was nothing, a shell, a husk of what was the real me. Why would anyone want that life? They are happy, free of rules and have no one controlling their life and they are envious of me? I am the one that's jealous... I wish I had a happy life, a life which I'm free to make my own decisions... but now... I'm just a bird trapped in a cage.
