bloom

"What Do You FeaR?"

A dreary silence leased the air in the room. A perturbed feeling accompanied by suspense stifles Mr. Luca as Shinko remains seated. His head down while resting a clenched fist on his thigh.

“Is something wrong?” Mr. Luca asks, his hand subconsciously making it’s way to comfort Shinko on the shoulder. 
He pulls away hesitantly, before his wrist is caught by fingers ever so coarse and warm.

“My parents are dead…my mother is…dead…”

Mr. Luca’s is taken aback. His wrist trembles in Shinko’s grip as his thoughts fall into panic and beads of sweat coat the surface of his hand. Darkness consumes his sight while his pupils only seemed to grow wider as they too began to tremble. It appeared as if forever had passed and the dreadful silence had grown unbearably frightening. He was frozen, clueless as to how to react.

*sniff*

Soft, mumbled sobs breaks through the silence shattering Mr. Luca’s worry like the most fragile of glasses. The darkness that clouded his sight was gone and all he could see was a boy, helplessly sitting before him; a boy that had lost his parents, a boy robbed of love and happiness, a boy…bruised and broken who forced himself into a façade of a perfect human.

Mr. Luca composed himself, taking deep breaths and forcing a smile that soon became sincere.

“I can’t say that you’ll ever be okay.” He finally rests his hand on Shinko’s shoulder before wrapping his entire arm around his neck and pulling him into an embrace.

“But I can hope and help that you and your life gets better.” He said as Shinko gripped his shirt from the back.

Meanwhile in the halls.

“What do you mean ‘if he was a teacher’?” Alison asked.

“While Mr. Luca is teaching at our school, he isn’t an official teacher.” Macy replied adjusting her glasses as the light perfectly reflects from the lens almost too similar to that of anime character.

“I don’t get it.” Alison continued.

“Let’s go get Shinko, I would much rather tell you both at once than have to repeat this conversation.”

They started on their way back to the classroom where they unintentionally ended up eavesdropping on the conversation carrying on inside.

“You know, I’m not crying because she’s dead. At least not this time. As sad as it is I’ve just recently learnt to accept it.” Shinko said.

“So…what is it?” Mr. Luca asked in concern.

“It’s been over 3 years now but I haven’t told anyone, not even my friends…not even Alison who loved her so much. For 3 years I pretended she was still alive. I was so engrained in the thought that sometimes even I forgot she was gone.” He lets out a short chuckle.

“All this time I thought I was doing the right thing, I was just eating away at my happiness.” He buries his face into Mr. Luca’s chest, soaking his shirt with tears.

“You’re so strong Shinko-”

“AM I ?!” He cuts Mr. Luca off.

“yes…you are” Alison whimpers under her teary breath as her and Macy listen from just outside the door.

She reaches for the doorknob before Macy pinches the back of her shirt. Alison turns around to face her.

Macy is met by Alison’s polished hazelwood eyes. She wraps her arms tightly around Alison allowing her to silence her cries into her chest.

“Let him get it out.” Macy says, holding back her own tears.

“Everyone keeps telling me I’m strong, but am I?” Shinko continued. “I’m crying in front someone I’ve barely known for 3 days, and how can I be strong if I’m always scared?”

Not only had Shinko been weak, he was scared, fragile and a coward to his selfish emotions, at least that is what he thought himself to be. Mr. Luca however, saw that he was much greater than that.

“Being scared doesn’t make you weak. Everyone who ever told you that you are strong said so because you did something to make them believe that. In just the past few minutes that we’ve been talking even I can say that you’re strong. Your feelings are your strength, like the love you have for your friends. Plus everyone is scared, but we can learn to live with our fears and we can sometimes even overcome them. So ask yourself Shinko “What are you afraid of?”.

Shinko looks up at Mr. Luca. Their teary eyes meet in dreary happenstance.