𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗹𝘆, james potter

-ˋ 59

CHAPTER FIFTY NINE
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-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH TIGER CONSIDERS HER OPTIONS

. . .

No matter how confident the Howell girl looked on the outside, it was mostly all fake. Of course, like most people, she had her moments where adrenaline took over any rational thought and she would appear much more confident.

But if you didn't know that it was all an act, the confidence produced by adrenaline wouldn't even seem like it had altered her levels that much. 

But really, it was just a whole lot of confidence added onto the one that Tiger applied to herself like she applied her eyeliner every morning, or added butterfly clips to her hair - in excessive amounts. 

Not many people that it was all a facade. Of course, there were those who saw slips in the mask, where it moved just enough to see how Tiger really wasn't all that confident, simply putting on a mask.

One of those people was James Potter. Of course it was. At this point, James knew so much about Tiger that she really wondered whether she was hiding anything else from him, or if he knew it all.

She wouldn't be surprised if he did. Tiger had a tendency to let her guard down around him, let the mask of confidence slip even further away from the places it was so carefully attached to. 

And so, in that sense, Tiger really thought that James did know pretty much everything. Of course, there were things that he didn't know - just how far her insecurities reached, or how damaged her confidence really was, having been a direct result of not only years of subtle forms of bullying, abuse from her mother and on top of it all, being accused of murdering her boyfriend.

The thing was, Tiger Howell knew she could trust him. In fact, now that Olivia was here, James was the only thing that was metaphorically holding her back from pitching herself off the Astronomy tower.

It seemed so tempting sometimes, to just let the problems take everything away from her. Luckily Miss Williams had seemed to have left her alone for a while, but Tiger couldn't help but feel extremely sick whenever she saw Olivia and her together. 

She swayed slightly in the wind, her hands gripping the railing. The Howell girl felt sick even thinking about it. Tiger knew she couldn't go through a second round of what had happened at Ilvermorny, have the whole student body of Hogwarts hate her and whipser about it. 

Her father confirming that he was divorcing Grace had given her such a sense of freedom - it was one of the weights lifted off her shoulder. She no longer needed to wonder whether or not she would be able to see her father or sister again, or whether each visit would be plagued by her mother following them around everywhere, shouting at her whenever she got the chance.

But with one of those weights gone, the threat of Olivia had only expanded, and when she thought about it, it made her chest tighten and mind ache until it was numb. 

Not even James could help with that. The only thing he had helped her with was trying to live, after the summer she had. 

The day of the garden party was one of the first things that Tiger had done, after she had spent months upon months sat up in her room, avoiding her family and only leaving her room when they weren't there, or to look after Tilly.

Since then, James had been thinking of her, and her of him. She came to Hogwarts with a group of friends ready to take her in, because of her cousin and his best friend, a boy with crazy-messy hair and such strong glasses he could be somewhat blind. 

And thank Merlin they had - if not, Tiger might have self-imploded before she even reached her sixteenth Christmas, a thought that had terrified her since leaving Ilvermorny. 

But she hadn't, and she was still there. Her mind continued to battle against her, creating nightmares and thoughts which would make Tiger shiver.

But every time, James was there. And she would be fine for a while, before the Howell girl was once again alone. It was so harsh, living, but she knew it wasn't her time to go just yet. 

"It's not worth it." A voice rang out, breaking through the loud noise of the wind, and Tiger turned around, hands still gripped onto the tailing that surrounded most sides of the Astronomy tower. 

It was Regulus Black, and Tiger was slightly taken aback by this, one arm falling to her side as she stared at him. "Trust me, it's not nearly as high as you would think. But still, enough to kill you." He continued.

"I'm not planning it." Tiger shrugged, staring out at the countryside beside her as Regulus stopped by her side. "I hope you aren't either?"

"Our minds are cruel havens." The Slytherin boy mumbled, and Tiger frowned, before he looked at her. "No, I'm not." He confirmed, and she let out a sigh, the corner of her lips turning up ever so slightly. 

"Good." She mumbled. "Is there any other reason why you're up here? If you want some time alone, I can go." Tiger continued, her other hand falling away from the railing. 

"No, I came to talk to you." Regulus admitted, and any expression Tiger had on her face was quickly replaced with confusion. "I assume you know of Olivia and Miss William's conspirital acts?"

"Yes, why, did you hear anything?" Tiger asked, and Regulus quickly shook his head. 

"No, I was just making sure you knew. Keep you on your toes. I have no clue what you've done that she's so intent on exposing." Regulus continued, before looking over to the girl. 

"So what's up?" Tiger asked, glancing at him, confused. Regulus seem conflicted for a moment, as if he was debating on whether or not to ask about whatever he needed to.

"Tiger, can you tell me about my brother?" He asked, and with a gentle nod, Tiger sat down with the younger Black sibling, and began to tell him everything that she could about his brother.

And Regulus drank in every word, making Tiger feel like possibly, the world was a less cruel place after all, as long as you had someone to care for you.

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