The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 15: Scarlett

This horrible pain had been going on for what seemed like years. It had been eight months since i had left court and now i was laboring in a dirty old country house. I have done the thing that i swore i would never do. My child would struggle all their lives for just a place in the world. For this i could never forgive myself. I had disgraced everyone even if they didn't know it. Rumors were running wild in St. Petersburg that i had had an affair with the Tsar and was now bearing his child. Another contraction hit me like a train and i rolled over on my side clutching at my stomach. As soon as it passed i was lost in a daze of the past months and now. Alice had written me everyday which told of trivial little things such as the gossip in Petersburg and how she hoped i would be well soon. Why hadn't i told her? If i die who will take care of my child? She didn't even know where i was. And she refused to believe the rumors about me being pregnant. Another contraction burst me out of my thoughts again. I was later told that this pain went out for hours even though it seemed like i was dying and in pain for years. I can barely remember anything but pain but eventually one of the older ladies in my little country household appointed by Alix told me. That i had screamed and struggled for hours and that i kept calling out for someone who's name they couldn't understand. But i knew exactly who it was. All of a sudden i felt relief and a baby's cry. Thank you God for letting this be over. I thought thankfully to myself. All i wanted to do was rest but i knew my work had just begun. "It is a son miss." Says the midwife as she handed me my son. My son. I could keep saying that for a thousand years. As i smiled down at him i knew that his existence could endanger us both in the future. If the people thought he was Nicholas's child plots could be made to overthrow Nicholas in his name. And that would make us both guilty of treason. As i smiled down at him a few tears rolled down my cheeks. "Miss what is his name?" The midwife asked. "George. His name is George." I say never looking up from him. "I will always protect you." I whisper to him as he nods off to sleep in my arms.

It had been four months since that beautiful day God gave me my son. I was sitting under my favorite tree a soft breeze blowing across the countryside. I had stopped hearing from Alice a few months ago. Maybe she thought i died or maybe she just forgot about me. It didn't matter to much to me anyway. I was in a honeymoon state and I wanted to stay out of the drama of court and live here in the country forever with my son. But of course nothing good ever lasts. It was that day that a page came from Alix requesting my presence of me and my cousins back at court and that I was free to bring my child with me. As if that was a question he either goes or I don't. As I walked back to our small country house I hoped that Alix had forgiven me and stopped listening to those awful rumors about me and Nicholas. As soon as I got back in the house the staff was already packing my things up and loading them into a carriage outside. Geez she's efficient. I think to myself. For some reason I felt a pang of longing for my cousins I had been so harsh to them in the past. I can only hope we can make amends. When I got to my room I instinctively picked up George and started rocking him. Alice loves children she will love George. She will understand why I had to keep it a secret. I tell myself as I try to reassure myself that everything will be ok. After only a few hours of packing we were off to the palace. It wasn't far from our darling country house because Alix had chosen it to keep an eye on me. As we rode to the palace I thought about Katherine for the first time in a better part of a year. I wonder what she was up to. I had not seen nor heard from her since her mother died. Maybe she hates me for some reason. I wouldn't know why since my life was a mess the last time I saw her. The looming palace snapped me out of my thoughts. All of the memories of the last time I was here cam flooding back to me. Good and bad. I hated being back here. I used to love it but now it was different. I had realized that it was full of nothing but spies and lies and rumors. As we got to the gates I looked out the windows and saw a large group of people standing there. As our sled went by they craned their necks to get a good look inside of the carriage. Were they here for me? The rumors must be worse then I thought. Poor Alix she was never in good health this must be destroying her from the inside out. The sled came to a halt and I slowly stepped out shielding George from the bright light of the sun. I stood there and just stared at this horrid place that destroys people and their lives. Then all of a sudden I heard a voice I couldn't miss. I slowly turned around to face it. Alice.