The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 36: Alice

Dinner had finished and it was my turn to speak with Auntie Victoria. She was in her parlor room, having tea. I gently knocked on her door, "Come in" her harsh voice commanded. I opened the door and her eyes softened when she realized that it was me. "Come in Alice, take a seat" she orders. I shut the door behind myself and sat down across from her.

"I find you married to a Russian,"she says disappointedly. "Just as your cousin Alix." she sips on her tea. I stay quiet with my head down, I wasn't ashamed, I was sad that she didn't see what I see in George. "How many childern do you have with him?" Auntie Victoria questions. "Two" I answer, "Thank so much for the governess Auntie, Thank you. thank you so much."I say on my knees.

Auntie looks down at me, "Get off the ground! You are the Tsarevich's wife! You shouldn't behave this way." I get off the ground and sit back down. "Sending you a governess was no issue at all. How is your son, Nicholas?" She asks, seeming not to really care for what I had to say. "He hasn't had any major attacks yet, I pray that he won't get any soon." I tell her. "The family curse has plagued us for so long, I just pray to god that our dear Alix doesn't pass it on to her son and heir." Auntie Victoria says solemnly.

She quickly shakes off the gloomily conversation and asks about my husband instead, "What about the father of your children? A Russian, how is your life with him?" Auntie Victoria asks. "He is wonderful" I say adoringly, "He is so kind and humorous Auntie, you must meet him!" I say excitedly, hoping for her to give George a chance. "He is the enemy Alice, I'm not going to speak with him, I can only tolerate him because my naive niece got bewitched by a Russian! You know Alice I was hesitant in allowing you to go to Alix's wedding, I feared that this would be an outcome. I should have never let you go." She says, sounding disappointed in herself.

I was feeling a lot of different emotions. I did not regret anything that I have done, the only person that seems to be bothered by all of this is my Auntie. "Well I don't regret anything!" I say, annoyed. "You didn't even give him a chance! Not even when he tried to converse with you at dinner!" I say much more harshly then I anticipated. "Watch your tongue Alice" Auntie Victoria snaps. "Do not follow in the steps of Scarlett, I don't even want to get started on her."

I keep my head down, "England said the same things that you are saying about George to uncle Albert, have some compassion Auntie" I say, standing up and walking out of the room, leaving her in shock. I felt adrenaline throughout my whole body. I just stood up to my Aunt, the Queen of England! I rushed back to my room, I felt emotionally exhausted. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes, a nap wouldn't hurt anyone. I closed my eyes and gently dozed off.

***
My older sister Victoria was there in a white dress, I was watching from a distance as she was waiting for someone in the white landscape in front of her. I noticed a figure emerge out of it, it was my Mama. She smiled at the sight of Victoria and reunited with her in tears. I watched them as they hugged one another but I was unable to hear what they were saying.

I watched as they started to fade, I could no longer see them, I tried to desperately run after them but it was no use, I was too late and they were gone, they were both gone.
***
I woke up in a cold sweat, an odd feeling washed over me and I wasn't able to shake it off. I got off my bed and went over to the nursery, looking for my Nicholas. I watched as the governess read him to sleep. Jealously washed over me, I wanted to that, I wanted to be there for my son, I wanted to protect him, but George said that we need a lone time as well sometimes. I do spend a large amount of my time with my children but he is right.

After this trip I should spend some more time with my children, I need to spend more time with them. That reminded me to look for George and tell him about my unpleasant conversation with Auntie. I left the nursery and walked everywhere to look for him, as I went to look outside I found him with Scarlett.

An uncomfortable feeling grew in my stomach, I tried to remember Katherine's words, they are just friends, he is just helping her in her horrid marriage situation. Not wanting to disrupt them, I quietly left and felt myself growing tired again, I needed to snap out of it, why am I so tired? I felt my feet start to swell, I was probably just exhausted from the day we had. I walked over to the chapel area of the English palace and sat down in one of the pews and prayed.

I prayed for many things, I prayed for my family, my friends, the people I know, the people suffering in the world. Although England was Protestant, a church was a church, a sacred place. When I finished my prayer I walked back to my room. I remembered all of my times here. How the four of us used to share one room although we had two adjoining ones. All of these memories felt as if they happened a life time ago.

Once I got back to my room I laid down again, the odd feeling never washed off and I still felt myself being very tired. I took off my shoes and let down my hair, I got into my bed and fell asleep.