𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗮 𝗞𝗶𝗻𝗴

journal entry ii.

Aren't parents supposed to be supportive?
Or something like that. I don't know... I feel like anything I do isn't good enough for mine.

It doesn't help that my actual biological dad is a selfish asshole and plays favorites between his two sons. Wait,, he doesn't actually see me as his son. He sees me as his daughter. Same goes for my mom. She tries... she really does. But at the same time it doesn't help...

She's resorted to calling me bear, which I'm okay with... but I really wish she'd call me Oliver. Or Oli even...

Let's not even get started on the fact that she's now holding it over my head that she didn't get to have a young adult life because of me. Like I somehow asked to be born. Like I was the reason she decided to be a stupid teenager and have me at 17. Like I had any say in that.

But god forbid I want to do something for myself so I can enjoy what little years I have on this earth,, before I work myself to death. Because that's not selfish, right? To her it is. To her it's taking advantage of her and I'm just. Done.

Living on my own here in Texas is expensive. Living anywhere on my own is expensive. And until I can get my license,, I'm kinda just stuck here. And I'm just.. ha.

It's been a while since I felt the need to journal,, but I'm just tired of feeling not good enough,, or what I'm doing is not enough to anyone's standards. Yknow?

I honestly just want out of this toxic ass household.