Letter To My Ex |✔

A letter to Ex

Dear Ex,

The minutes used to go by so slow that I savoured them and I thought it meant we had more time. Sadly, I was unaware that you'd stop loving me. It feels like I was dreaming this whole time. Afterall this time, thinking and imagining everything we have been through there is only one thought lingering in my mind where did it all go wrong? Even after you told me, you don't love me anymore, you came back to me only when you needed me and then there was this little hope, that little ray of sunshine that made me believe that I could have you all again. But I was wrong, I understood, no matter how much you love someone, sometimes they just can't love you back.

Sometimes there are some things and people you can never have in your life forever. Each one comes with a reason either with love and happiness or some just to destroy the love and happiness you have. Some people teach you the biggest lessons of your life, the biggest mistakes you made. Sometimes we think of a situation we never wanted to have, some conversations and some people too and sometimes I feel just too broken having things I never wanted! I never wanted to let you go. Never wanted to let go of us. It breaks my heart to see you with someone else. I always compare myself with her, what is so different about her that you let me go so effortlessly.

However, as time passed I got to know your truth, words of my friend's clear ringing in my ears - 'If he says he doesn't love you any more that means he never loved you. And even if he did love you back then, there was something you were giving him which made him love you. You do anything for them, if they don't really love you anymore there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes, even soul-deep love might not survive.'

I was miserable all those times when you were clearly enjoying with your new-found love. I tried moving on but that didn't work. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting certain things. Instead, we have to understand that what happened has happened and continue living.
Sometimes I felt like coming up to you and question you - why did you do this to me? Maybe I can get closure to have the last conversation with you is that gonna be okay or what?

But after thinking all the things you've done to me, I understood I can not get closure from a person that broke my heart, there is literally no answer you can give me, to justify why you broke up with me and there is no way it's going to make me feel better or will make me at peace like - 'oh! now I am going to know why you broke up with me.'

Closure happens when I know I have done everything for you, loved you, trusted you, I was your  best friend, I was loyal to you and you still left me, I was not enough that's my closure, you did nothing wrong.

Lastly, I just want to thank you for letting me know myself better, letting me know my worth - that I am worth more than what I was settling for, thank you for letting me know who really I am as a person and thank you for making me understand that some lovable things can be toxic too.

-Someone, who once loved you more than herself.

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Word count : 597