Journals (Camren)

Chapter 2

Camila must've spent about two whole class periods in the infirmary. It wasn't even like she was in there to waste time. She literally felt sick to her stomach with the thought of her biggest secret being exposed. If anyone found out about her feelings about Lauren, she was a dead man walking. She wasn't really, but it sure did feel that way. No one even knew of her sexuality. Camila didn't even know. All she knew was that Lauren elicited feelings within her that she'd never felt.

She hunched over on the bed and brought her knees to her chest. She buried her face into her arms as the feeling washed over her again. She was actually shaking. Why did she have to write down her stupid feelings? Why did she even have those feelings? Why couldn't she just have a normal friendship like she did with the other girls? Why did she have to use Lauren's name? Why couldn't she just keep it anonymous?

Camila's head shot up from her knees. Wait. She was anonymous. She'd never once signed her name, simply because she wasn't very fond of her signature. She suddenly felt thankful for her messy script. With that in mind, she relaxed a little. She had messy handwriting. No one would be able to read it. Well, they could... But they would just have to try really hard. But it's not like anyone would want to read all of her ramblings about Lauren anyway, right? She sure hoped so.

After thinking it over and realizing that the worst of her problems was that she'd simply lost her journal, she returned to normal. She'd somehow convinced herself that no one would read it, that it has just vanished. And she was alright with that. As long as no one knew, she was alright with it. Her headache dissipated and so did the feeling in her stomach. She even felt well enough to go ahead to lunch.

Lunch was Camila's favorite time of the day. Partially because of the food, partially because all of her friends met there, but mostly because of Lauren. She got to sit next to her and look at her when she wasn't paying attention. It was her favorite thing to do. She'd accepted how creepy she was a long time ago, so she stole her glances in stride.

When Camila entered the cafeteria, Lauren was the first to spot her. She smiled at Camila and urged her to come over. It was the cheeky smile where she tilted her head and made her eyes all squinty, Camila's personal favorite. A smile took over Camila's features as she made her way over. All thoughts of her missing journal immediately vanished. It was impossible to be sad when Lauren was near.

"Hey Mila," Ally greeted her warmly. "Where were you in class? Did you skip?" she assumed, which caused the other three girls to burst into laughter.

Because Camila skipping was a joke.

"I was in the nurse's office," Camila answered.

"We have a nurse?" Dinah questioned.

"No. Not really," Normani answered. "It's just a room in the back of the office with a few beds and bandaids and stuff. We don't have a nurse."

"Yeah. But the beds are really comfortable. I go in there when I get cramps," Lauren added.

"Me too," Ally nodded.

"Why am I just now hearing about this? Shoot, I could've been skipping all this time," Dinah laughed.

"I don't see how you didn't know," Ally jested.

"Same," Lauren laughed, then she turned to Camila. "Oh yeah, Camz. I forgot to tell you. We were just talking about something weird that I found."

Camila froze for a second. She wondered what Lauren had found, desperately hoping that it was a lucky penny or something. She surpressed her apprehension about what she was going to disclose and just waited for her to continue.