Journals (Camren)

Chapter 8

Lauren waited patiently for Camila to board the bus the next day. Sleep hadn't come easy the night before. She was restless with the idea of Camila being something more. The possibilities of what could come of her confession excited her. She didn't know what to expect. She desperately wanted to talk it through with her.

Camila had slipped away from detention yesterday. She'd gotten lost in the crowd before Lauren could talk to her. Then she missed the bus, but Lauren was starting to think she'd done it purposely. She knew all about Camila's habit of avoiding problems by literally avoiding them. Lauren wanted to explain that she wasn't a problem. There was nothing awkward going on and there was no tension. Lauren wanted to clear up her position before Camila had the chance to assume anything.

Nameless faces continued to pass by her. When she saw Camila's flushed cheeks, she grinned. She had her head down, staring down at the floor instead of what was in front of her. She gripped her bookbag's straps and chewed on her bottom lip. Camila was sort of hoping Lauren had missed the bus today. She wasn't ready to talk about it. She wasn't in the mood to be shut down and rejected.

"Camz!" Lauren squealed when Camila got in earshot. For the first time in her life, it was a voice Camila dreaded hearing.

Camila sighed and lifted her head. She offered Lauren a meek smile as she continued to make her way down the aisle. She was planning on occupying the seat next to Dinah, but Lauren grabbed Camila's wrist and pulled her to sit right beside her. "Sit by me," Lauren pleaded.

Although she didn't necessarily want to, she knew she was going to. Camila would end up doing anything for Lauren, and it annoyed her. So she slid off her bookbag and plopped down next to Lauren, prepared to get it over with. She was expecting awkwardness and a bit of hostility. Why wasn't she speaking? Camila turned to face Lauren and saw her staring back at her with a tender expression. It made her uncomfortable. She was having trouble reading her. She had absolutely no idea what to expect of the face to face confrontation.

"Hi..." Camila mumbled, sufficiently making things awkward.

"Hey," Lauren smiled. "Are you okay this morning?"

"I guess..." she shrugged. Was she trying to soften the blow by making small talk first? Maybe that was it, keep the small talk going.

"Okay. Well, just don't feel weird about what you told me yesterday. I actually wanted to-" Lauren began, but Camila interrupted her, sensing where the conversation was headed.

"I don't. But guess what Sofi did this morning," Camila prompted with a small smile.

Even in the relative darkness of the bus, Camila's smile was bright enough to make Lauren pause. Instead of wanting to say what she needed to say, she wanted to hear Camila's little story. So she went along with it. As long as Camila wasn't feeling bad about her confession, Lauren assumed all was well.

"What did she do?" Lauren asked.

"She put hand soap on her toothbrush... Like instead of toothpaste," Camila laughed lightly.

Actually, that was what Camila did this morning. It was a mistake she'd made in her sleepy haze. How she could've gotten those two mixed up, she didn't know. But she felt like it was a more socially acceptable thing for her sister to have done than her. Then she wondered why out of all things, she'd decided to share that with Lauren. But whatever, keep the small talk going.

"Wow," Lauren smiled.

"You should've seen her face," Camila forced another laugh. It was a dumb thing to be talking about, but it was keeping them preoccupied.