So you usually start at around age 6, you start first grade and you finally learn how to read thanks to your wonderful teacher that ended up flunking you in the end. So once you learn how to read, you go home, you make your mom buy you a thousand books that after about ten years you'd throw out.
Going back to the fact that your teacher flunks you in first grade, now you're a year behind all your fake friends and that makes you so mad. You'll end up getting over it after you meet new ones. Moving on, all your homework and school paper work are forced to be signed by you and done by you all alone. Your parents might be working most of the day to make enough money to feed a home of three. Even at a young age you think to yourself that you're a big girl now and you don't need mommy or daddy.
Your ten years old now still loving books and now that your home alone, you have more time for them. You learn how to fry yourself an egg because that's the only way you're going to survive before your parents come home, well at least if one of them does.
So your ten and in 3rd grade, all pissed off because your smarter than everyone else and can't advance. Your stuck having to slow down to grow with the other students cause your teacher forces you. Sucks doesn't it.
After that you skip a few years and now you're with your mom at age eleven trying to figure out where to live because everyone you thought cared left you. But like you stated you're a big girl now.
Your fifteen now and you finally learned that you can be your own person and that your old enough, to be responsible for your own health, food, and self-maintenance. But you weren't taught all this, you taught yourself a few things, but you don't know how to take care of your appearance not like the other girls.
But with grand excitement you enter the age of seventeen and you now have someone who will stay by your side for a long time, they might not be your parents, but their love is just the same.
At seventeen you're a woman now, learning how to take care of your weight, (did I mention I was a fat child) you take on more responsibilities, "Not like you've been doing this since age 6" you remind yourself.
Your mom always says "I love you" and you always respond back with just the same. Even if your seventeen and most girls this age don't even blink at their mothers the same. You love her more than anything because even if it seems like she hasn't given you the world, she has indeed done so.
How the heck do you think you would've made it to 18 with a roof on your head without your mami paying the bills?
Throughout these eighteen years even if most of the time you were alone or taking care of yourself, you look back and think that you are grateful for everything that has happened even if it sucked at the moment. Even if you started to grow up all by your lonesome at the age of 6, or that it was survival of the fittest at age 10. You made it to age eighteen.
"And damn, you're lucky, cause not all of you make it this far."
So currently your eighteen living the life of an adult, at least that's what you think. But you're taking a part time job that you can't even think of as a part time but more like a full time. You thank god for the government funds at home because your bi-weekly paycheck doesn't even pay half the rent at the moment. You think to yourself "It's a big man's world but you're a women" working your tail off to pay the bills of your own home. It's just your mom and you, and you have to make the best of it, through all the fees, bills, and panic attacks.
You suck it up once more, cause remember you're a big girl now.
