Across 300 Years, I Love You

Sometimes, it is ok to cry a little

23 March 1996

[Elizabeth's POV]

I walked beside Yongqi in silence as we headed to the farthest end of the neighbourhood that hosted a deserted playground with 2 swings and a wooden see saw.

The playground is in pristine condition, with pure white sand and a woody scent. It has been avoided by kids in the neighborhood after reports of ghostly sightings are circulated amongst the mothers. At random times of the day, rumour has it that the swings would move on its own as if an otherworldly creature that is unseen to the eyes would be manipulating the swings to terrorize the children.

The overcast sky adds on an extra grey to the already despondent nature of our walk. Upon reaching the playground, I reached for a swing and pushed a slight smile on my face.

"It's supposed to be your birthday today. Why are you so upset?" I asked.

"I am not. The palace organized a grand celebration." he avoided my question.

Pretending to flick his fingers on my forehead, he said: "And you? You look like as if someone had run a horse carriage in your face." He took the swing beside me and looked at me intently, gesturing for me to begin.

My mind flashed through the sequences of events that happened in school yesterday. As I made my way back to the classroom after morning assembly, I was greeted by a row of white flowers that lined the outside of the class next door that belonged to 1 Episcia. Blotched red faces were seen moving in and out of that classroom. Out of curiosity, I followed the girls in front of me into the classroom to see what was going on in there. On a table in the second row of the right corner, a makeshift memorial was set up with white flowers that lined the table neatly with a picture of a brightly smiling girl.

"Oh! She was such a lovely person." one of the girls in the class sobbed.

One by one, more girls dropped by to say a few words. Apparently, that girl's name was Hannah and she had passed away from cancer the night before. No one knew of her illness until the news of her death. I bowed politely to the picture in silence and left the classroom to go to my class before the start of the first period.

For the entire day in school, news of her passing sent shockwaves throughout the entire school. Everyone suddenly seemed to know her and talked about her like they were best of friends. 1 girl would suddenly burst into tears and there would be a few more joining her in tears, mourning after the loss of Hannah.

During lunch, it got to a new height of hysteria where multiple bursts of wailing would erupt at the canteen every few minutes and the girls of the school would be tearing up. All except for me.

"Geez." I scoffed. This level of pretentiousness has hit a raw nerve in me. I stood up from my table to leave my lunch behind.

"Oh Elizabeth, you are heartless." one of my classmates called me out. "It is such a sad day and you are not crying."

"I can't bring myself to this level of hypocrisy." I said to Yongqi.

"And....no prizes for the right guess. You are now a public enemy in your school for not showing empathy for Hannah's passing." Yongqi nodded understandingly.

"How do you know?" I pretended to be surprised.

"Anyway, that girl ensured that her words are loud enough for quite a number of girls to hear clearly, calling me cold hearted. I get this sick feeling in my stomach that things in school will get quite bad for me." I continued. "My God! I don't understand girls at all!"

"Ha! That's rich, coming from you." he guffawed my remark while I folded my arms and pouted in annoyance.

He straightened his robes and began telling his tale.

Traditionally, a Prince's 7th birthday will mark his coming of age transition into adulthood. He would be deemed a man now, thus, it would be inappropriate for him to continue living with his birth mother.

Eunuch Li hurried the male servants to complete the moving of Yongqi's belongings to the Prince Quarters. It is a communal living space for all unmarried Princes that are 7 years of age and above and they would remain there until their wedding is announced by the Emperor, who will then assign a formal residence to the Prince outside the palace that is in close proximity.

"The Empress arrives!" the Empress's personal eunuch announced her arrival. The Jingyang palace is aptly decorated with red paper cuttings and lanterns for the occasion.

"Mother Empress! A thousand blessings to you!" Yongqi beamed as he hurried to the main hall to receive the Empress.

"Empress." Noble Consort Yu lowered into a curtsy.

"You may do away with the formalities. It's your birthday today, my boy. Look at you now, a dashing young man!" she spun him around to admire him in his new robes.

"Mother Empress! I want to be able to stay in the palace longer to take care of you and Mother Consort and be filial."

"You speak as if you are going to live a thousand miles away. Here, try some chestnut cakes." she took a neatly wrapped package from a palace maid and started unwrapping it.

"You can always visit anytime you want. We are well taken care of here." Noble Consort Yu smiled.

"Noble Consort Yu, you should have some too." the Empress invited.

"Hmm....you look different today, Mother Empress." Yongqi, with a tongue in cheek manner, held the Empress by the arms and turned her from left to right.

"How so?" the Empress looked quizzical.

Squinting his eyes, Yongqi said: "Definitely younger and more beautiful!"

The Jingyang palace erupted into a harmonious roar of laughter. The thing is, the brighter the laughter, the harder it was when it's time for him to leave.

"You must take good care of yourselves. Try not to be so soft spoken, Mother Consort. If anyone were to make things difficult for you, you must send Eunuch Li for me." he said with a serious look on his face.

"It's time for you to leave, your highness." Eunuch Li clasped his hands into a low bow.

"You must not think of me." Yongqi said his goodbye as he got up the horse carriage to leave.

With that pained look on his face, he shifted around uncomfortably in the swing.

"Elizabeth, Mother consort is not favoured by Father Emperor at all. She only has me." he worked to regain his composure.

"You know......" I stammered. "You don't always have to be strong to be a man. Sometimes, it is ok to cry a little."

After a few minutes of silence, I began again: "Your tears here don't exist in the Qing dynasty."

Drip.

Drop.

Beads of tears rolled down his cheeks, gathering velocity as it hit the sand of the playground. Like a flood gate opened to a tsunami wave, the tears came just in time to receive the pouring rain from the sky that washed all the pain away.

It is also a perfect cover for me to cry for my friend.